qfx

Here’s a quick rundown of the major happenings in the crypto world this week. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride! 🚀

Looking at the 4-hour chart from MK, it seems PENGU is slowly creeping out of a “falling wedge” (though some of us like to call it an elegant triangle). After topping near $0.048, it settled down at $0.0355, right in the zone where breakthroughs happen (or at least where hope hangs on by a thread). Now, it’s trying to burst through the upper trendline. Good luck with that!

Bitcoin (BTC), that ever-so-dramatic diva of the digital currency world, has decided to grace us with a 2.14% increase over the last day. Truly, it’s like watching a soap opera where the plot twists involve numbers and charts instead of forbidden love affairs. 💔📊

As if summoned by the spirits of the stock market, TRON generously bestowed upon us its Q2 2025 earnings report, like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Lo and behold! Market capitalization soared by 17% with a flourish, reaching a staggering $26.5 billion, all while revenue jumped a brisk 20.5% to $915.9 million—both accomplishments singing like a swan in a sea of mediocrity. And verily, this report hints at institutional interest swelling like a beloved soufflé, as TRON navigates the tempestuous waters of the crypto markets, where opinions are as varied as the hats at an aristocratic ball. 💃

Crypto sleuth and XRP cheerleader Ripple Van Winkle is ringin’ the dinner bell for investors, claimin’ the big show hasn’t even started yet—what we’ve seen is just a teaser, like a sneak peek at a bad melodrama. In his latest video rant on X, he lays out the gospel: heavy hitters like BlackRock, Fidelity, and PNC are sniffin’ around, especially with XRP ETFs gainin’ traction. Once the SEC gives the nod, these trillion-dollar behemoths might pile in, and oh boy, won’t that be a sight! Van Winkle swears the real price surge is baked right into the system, not some slow crawl, but a lightning bolt that could zap us all to kingdom come. ⚡😏

Sakharov told CryptoMoon that even a 20% flat tax won’t save Japan’s crypto scene. “The 55% tax is a slap on the wrist,” he said. “But the real pain? The FSA’s ‘pre-approval’ model. It’s like asking a toddler for a 10-page report on your startup. 😭”

He’s claiming that JPMorgan is blocking Gemini from essential banking services because he’s dared to criticize them. Could it be because he suggested that banks charging fintechs for access to customer data might bankrupt those very fintechs? Nah, that’s probably just coincidence. Or maybe JPMorgan just doesn’t like being called out on Twitter, which, let’s be honest, is *probably* the real reason.

While Bitcoin hogged the limelight—like the town drunk at a sheriff’s picnic—other lesser-known coin characters went screeching up the ranks. They were riding the hype train, fueled by folks dreaming of gold and glory, and a heap of new investor interest, folks with pockets deep enough to make a banker blush. If you’re fixin’ to find out which of these shiny fools are primed to explode next, reckon you’re in the right place.

In a world where fortunes rise and fall like leaves in autumn, Cathie Wood, CEO of ARK Invest, took to her vast audience of 1.8 million on X—formerly Twitter, that den of digital discourse—on this day, July 26, 2025, to lay bare the culprits behind the Ethereum unstaking frenzy. She attributes the madness to Robinhood’s tantalizing 2% deposit promo and the relentless greed of treasury companies and VC firms, who shift staked ETH like pawns in a high-stakes game. “As with other ventures,” she muses, exposing the underbelly of finance with a dash of irony. 😉

And lo, he proclaims that soon, DOGE may ascend, its price soaring to the lofty heights of $0.36, as if the cosmos itself conspires to lift this humble coin. But what is this ‘huge win’ but a mirage, a fleeting triumph of hope over despair? 🐕💸