qfx

Bitcoin, that elusive feline of finance, struggles mightily to perch above $115,000, despite the Fed’s gentle quarter-point nudge downward.

Ah, yes. You’ve found yourself reading Crypto Long & Short, our weekly newsletter, where we tackle the most cryptic corners of digital assets, sprinkling in a bit of sarcasm along the way. Don’t forget to sign up here if you want to receive this delicious tidbit of financial brilliance every Wednesday!

Behold, choices! Not merely in bulk, but in petite forms-standard and micro-sized contracts on Solana and XRP, for those who prefer their existential gambles in bite-sized morsels. Giovanni Vicioso, the man whose very name suggests an eternal struggle of vice and virtue, proclaims this move as a natural bloom from the “significant growth and increasing liquidity” in their digital catalog of financial curiosities. What lofty words to cloak the ticklish dance of supply and demand!

Stablecoins, those digital sirens, have seized the spotlight once more, with all their highs and existential hiccups. Leading this tragicomic cast is Tether (USDT), strutting like a peacock with a $170.9 billion market cap and a 2.33% monthly bump, according to the oracles at defillama.com. With the stablecoin market now at $290.483 billion, Tether reigns supreme, clutching 58.83% of the pie-a pie baked in the fires of hubris and hope.

But wait-before we start singing hallelujahs for this valiant endeavor, let’s not forget that this same FCA, in its infinite wisdom, is seen by many as a slow, lumbering bureaucratic titan-its regulatory efforts often criticized as being more fragmented than a shattered mirror. A fine mess to be sure.

Bitcoin, like a brooding Russian hero returning from exile, staged a resolute comeback after wandering below $115,000-then, with an impish grin, vaulted beyond $116,000, peaking at a cheeky $116,935. Midway, it slid to a moody $116,224, only to recover with a defiant wink, crossing $117,000 and settling at the pleasantly smug $117,235.

According to the ever-watchful CryptoQuant, Bitcoin investors have been doing the digital equivalent of packing up their valuables and hiding them under the mattress. Yep, they’ve been moving their Bitcoin away from exchanges in anticipation of what might come after the FOMC meeting. No one likes surprises, right?

The current price range is less of a “consolidation” and more of a full-blown tug-of-war between those who want to accumulate and those who are looking to cash in. Every time LINK gets near that $24-$25 zone, the resistance laughs in its face. But don’t panic just yet-there’s still hope for a breakout. If it manages to break through, we’re talking a potential sprint to $28, and-dare we say it-$30 could be right around the corner. 🏃‍♂️💨

Rumour has it, any clandestine accord will naturally concern stablecoins-a veritable powder keg of policy opinions. The American approach under President Trump was cheerfully laissez-faire (or, as some might say, “Let’s just let it run wild!”), while the Brits have behaved more prudently, clutching their teacups and side-eying every digital shilling.

The Bitcoin Act wants the U.S. government to buy 1 million BTC over five years. Imagine the headlines: “Taxpayers Fund Bitcoin!” It’s either genius or a plot by aliens to take over the planet. Either way, it’s positioning Bitcoin as a “macro asset” (read: not your grandmother’s savings bonds).