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The poor altcoins, bless their digital hearts, are joining the pity party. It’s not just XRP that’s shedding tears; ETH, BNB, SOL, DOGE, ADA, and a veritable circus of others are all performing some highly unfortunate feats of decline.

Ah, Bitcoin, the stoic guardian of value, yet so clumsy in the dance of exchange and programmability. Solana and Ethereum, those sprightly upstarts, have stolen the spotlight, leaving Bitcoin to brood in its ivory tower. But lo! A vacuum has formed, and into this void steps the Layer 2 suitor, whispering promises of speed, security, and the forbidden fruit of programmability. Ethereum’s Layer 2s, crowded and clamorous, have left Bitcoin’s own layers virtually untouched-a virgin territory ripe for conquest.

CME Group, the heavyweight of derivatives, is rumored to be shaping its own digital token, signaling a seismic reshuffle in the market’s skeleton. Near-instant collateral movement to feed 24/7 trading-that is the promise, or at least the rumor pretending to be destiny.

Ah, the Royal Government of Bhutan has decided to shake things up, moving bitcoin after months of wallet hibernation. As the price of bitcoin dipped below $71,000, funds began their journey to trading firms, exchanges, and mysterious new addresses, much like a royal decree amidst chaos.

These networks, known to insiders as CMLNs, moved an estimated $16.1 billion through the orderly chaos of cryptocurrency transactions in 2025. A study by Chainalysis-a name that sounds like a calculator with nerves-places them at nearly one-fifth of the world’s illicit crypto economy, which it tallies at more than $82 billion for the previous year. The numbers march on like soldiers in a parade, each badge a reminder that the disguise is occasionally convincing.

In his latest social media update-because where else do we get our financial advice?-our expert took out his crystal ball and started mixing yearly, monthly, and weekly cycles like a bartender making the world’s most confusing cocktail. And guess what? According to him, Bitcoin is currently lounging in an “extreme risk zone” right before a predicted pivot around February 2. If that doesn’t sound ominous, I don’t know what does!

It appears the market, that fickle mistress, has begun to discern the wheat from the chaff. While some tokens languish in despair, others stand firm, their value unshaken. A most intriguing spectacle, is it not?

In a world where futures often seem as likely as finding a unicorn, Bitnomial, Inc.-a U.S. derivatives exchange that plays nice with the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC)-has pulled a rabbit out of a hat by launching the very first Tezos (XTZ) US dollar futures contract.

The age-old dance of thief and victim has taken a new turn, with cybercriminals favoring the slow poison of long-term malware infections over the quick strike. They lurk, they wait, they steal-not just funds, but the very essence of one’s digital identity. Passwords, private keys, API keys-all laid bare like a feast for the uninvited.

At the time of scribbling these words, XRP lingered in the mid-$1.50 range, a level so feeble it harkens back to the dark days of late 2024. One might say it’s not just a coin but a testament to the human capacity for indifference. While the broader crypto market has its own woes, XRP’s decline is a masterpiece of persistence, a slow-motion tragedy that sentiment data can barely muster a yawn for.