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But wait! All is not lost in this comedic tragedy. Strong fundamentals remain Bitcoin’s trusty sidekick, ever-ready to swoop in and save the scene. Institutional adoption continues its steady march forward, with companies quietly adding BTC to their treasuries as if sneaking dessert from under their spouses’ noses 🍰. Rising inflation concerns? Mais oui! They keep Bitcoin relevant as a hedge, even amidst these market wobbles.

Ah! Attend, good gentles, to the tale most curious-Friday’s dismal U.S. nonfarm tale caused brooding clouds of bearish gloom, yet lo! The morrow dawned and those fears were but smoke and shadows! Thus, coins such as Ethena’s ENA, worldcoin, hyperliquid (HYPE), and that merry fool Dogecoin, did pirouette and soar like jesters on a midsummer’s stage! 🎭

The horizon of Bitcoin Core is set to transform, as the upcoming release proposes to elevate the OP_RETURN limits, thereby granting users the freedom to inscribe arbitrary data onto the blockchain-a move that stirs the pot of communal discourse.

Dogecoin (DOGE) has been wagging its tail in the markets, up 7% in the past 24 hours, with trading volume surging over 160%. Bulls are trying to break out of a long-standing symmetrical triangle pattern, a formation that looks like a dog house with two slanted walls. One wall is going down, the other is going up, and somewhere in the middle, Dogecoin is trying to decide whether to bark or break free.

Since its humble descent to $43 on the first day of September, Hyperliquid [HYPE] hath traded within an ascending channel. At this very moment, it prances at $50.97, up a sprightly 7.72% in but a day, according to CoinMarketCap. And lo! Its volume leapt 83% to $210.53 million, signaling a frenzy of on-chain activity. Ah, fresh whale accumulation, you sly fox! 🦊

For traders, hitting $100k isn’t just about popping champagne bottles-it’s more like stepping into a minefield wearing clown shoes. Every time Bitcoin flirts with resistance levels, it’s like watching someone walk a tightrope while juggling chainsaws. Positions with leverage multiply faster than bad decisions after three glasses of wine, and liquidations cascade like dominoes on steroids. Remember those previous peaks? Yeah, they ended with everyone either celebrating or crying into their spreadsheets. And now? Well, let’s just say the ghost of FOMO past is lurking around every corner. 👻📉

Now here’s where it gets juicy-or should I say *squishy*? 😈 The crafty culprit didn’t just grab the loot and run; oh no, they performed an elaborate aquatic ballet 🕺🐟. First, they pirouetted those stolen funds across chains, hopping gracefully from Arbitrum to Ethereum via Circle (who probably didn’t appreciate being part of this underwater circus). And what does all this fancy footwork mean? Tracking these slippery coins is about as easy as catching a greased-up eel in a bathtub!

As it is related, a single FDIT represents one share of Fidelity’s Treasury Digital Fund-abbreviated ‘FYOXX’ to spare us the inconvenience of excess syllables. The enterprising investors, with Bank of New York Mellon conducting the role of chaperone (or custodian, if you must), may find themselves privy to a portfolio consisting exclusively of U.S. Treasury securities and, one must suppose, plenty of cash for tea and biscuits.

Four years! Can you believe it? El Salvador is still fiddling with this Bitcoin [BTC] thing. It’s like a Borscht Belt routine, only with cryptocurrency. They’re celebrating, but quietly. Very quietly. Like they’re expecting the entire thing to unravel any minute.

In the grand theater of Wall Street, enter Rex-Osprey, the bold impresario behind the DOJE ticker. Earlier this year, they filed for what seemed like folly-a Dogecoin ETF-and lo, it appears Nate Geraci whispers in hushed tones that approval draws nigh. Nay, not just approval, but destiny itself! For the coming months shall be pivotal for all crypto ETFs, as though fate herself conspired to make memes matter.