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PancakeSwap, a high-profile DEX that handled a staggering $325 billion in trading volume in June, has become the first decentralized exchange to be banned in Turkey. 🚫 The CMB didn’t specify how it determined PancakeSwap was in breach of Turkish law, but one thing’s for sure – they didn’t meet the licensing requirements set by the CMB. 📝

In an X post published today, crypto trader Merlijn The Trader noted that Ethereum appears to be following the Wyckoff Accumulation pattern and has successfully cleared both the ‘creek’ and ‘spring’ phases, potentially entering the ‘liftoff’ phase characterized by parabolic price action. It’s like Ethereum is finally getting its act together, or at least that’s what the chart says. 📈

This move is just the latest plot twist in Turkey’s quest to bring some much-needed grown-up supervision to the crypto sandbox. Since March, anyone who wants to legally operate in the space must jump through a labyrinth of compliance hoops. Not wild enough? Add this: Since February, any Turkish citizen moving more than 14,000 lira’s worth of crypto (about $425, or an expensive lunch in Istanbul) must do the financial equivalent of a “Stop! Show me your papers!” The stated goal is to make money laundering and shady business as difficult as assembling IKEA furniture without a manual. 🗃️🔍

So, what’s happening here? With volume flowing steadily like a calm river and prices gradually creeping up, traders are getting ready for the big show! We’re talking the kind of move that makes you want to get the popcorn ready 🍿. Technical indicators are showing signs of early accumulation, which could mean BIG things ahead. Could we be looking at a rally to new highs? Well, keep your fingers crossed. 🤞

The bill, which barely squeezed through both chambers, promises a medley of sweeping tax cuts, deep spending changes, and a debt ceiling increase that will make even the most seasoned economists weak in the knees. A staggering $5 trillion increase, to be exact. It’s a number so large, it’s almost…beautiful? 😍

The devilishly clever twist: Chinese users get the nastiest bite, representing a whopping 82% of those left standing in this cold game of musical chairs. Imagine buying a golden ticket and discovering it’s just an old banana peel.

Oh, but let us not forget, dear reader, that this is not the first time such a grand announcement has been made. The original date, a mere shadow of a memory, was set for the 19th of July. Yet, as fate would have it, the gods of technology have seen fit to postpone this grand event. 🤷‍♂️

A new tract, hotter than a gossiping servant’s tongue, proclaims the dollar’s decline the worst since 1973 (a time when disco reigned and the world still had hope in polyester). Tariffs loom, the Fed’s independence is treated as a suggestion, not a law; debt piles up with the speed and subtlety of a playwright padding his script, while inflation creeps about like a creditor after midnight. Behold: ‘Tis tragedy with a laugh track!

Quant (QNT) was trading at $105 on July 4, up over 75% from its lowest level this year. This rally has brought its market capitalization to over $1.2 billion, ranking it as the 60th largest coin in the industry.

Here we are, gentle observer, with Ethereum marching valiantly upwards, only to collide with invisible resistance—the kind of cosmic joke only a crypto trader or a Russian existentialist could appreciate. The bullish momentum of late June now blunders against the rocks of reality; yes, it clings desperately above important averages, as if clinging to the simple hope that life must have a point. Yet it cannot breach the $2,600 ceiling, as though condemned to replay its miseries in perpetuity.