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The 3,500 miners could generate $22.70M in high-margin annual revenues at $DOGE’s price of $0.22. A sum that would make even a peasant’s son weep with joy. 🥺

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has dropped a new agenda for the crypto world. They’re saying it’s all about making things clearer and easier for everyone. But let’s be real, how often does the government actually make anything easier? 🙄

Ruchir Sharma, the money wizard who’s seen it all (and probably owns a few islands), declared crypto “here to stay” with the conviction of a man who’s never wrong about anything. 🤭 “Bitcoin’s not going anywhere,” he said, while banks that once scoffed now scramble to buy digital coins like kids hoarding candy. 🍬

But wait! Could this be the moment crypto sneaks up behind everyone like a giggling gremlin in a tuxedo? 🤪🎩 Santiment (the wizard of crypto whispers) says the “divergence” is so bold it’s basically shouting, “Look at me!”

the usability gap is the iceberg lurking in the waters of crypto’s grand voyage.

For weeks now, SHIB’s been stuck in this “contracting triangle pattern,” which sounds fancy but really just means it’s caught between $0.0000120 and $0.0000130, kinda like me trying to make a decision on what to order. Trading volume’s dropping too. So, no bulls, no bears, just confused crypto animals wandering around. The 200-day EMA sits up there at $0.0000139 like a bouncer who’s had enough of this nonsense, while the 50-day and 100-day averages are squeezing the price like it owes them money. And with the RSI at 46? That’s basically “meh” on the momentum scale. Translation: once things get volatile, SHIB might just freak out.

But this is not mere possession; nay, they venture into the very crucible of creation, acquiring 2,500 Dogecoin miners-a breed of machinery as whimsical as the Shiba Inu that adorns its logo. 🐕💻 One might ponder: in this grand tapestry of existence, does the mining of Dogecoin bring us closer to enlightenment, or merely to the edge of absurdity?

Token listings on big exchanges are like caffeine for crypto prices-instant buzz. Conversely, delistings? Well, they’re the equivalent of a hangover. 🥴

In its latest filing, the SEC declared it would “institute proceedings” to determine the fate of the SUI ETF, a process that sounds like a bureaucratic ballet. Market participants are now invited to submit comments, as if the SEC needs a pep talk from the peanut gallery. 🎭

Everyone’s sort of peering nervously at their screens, trying to figure out what it all means. As if a single report is going to suddenly reveal the meaning of life, or, you know, whether you can afford avocado toast next week. The suspense! 🙄 It’s exhausting, really. One feels one should probably just sell everything and take up macramé. But then again, what would one even *do* with all the macramé?