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“Milestone day for the XRP community!”

This novel offering, I am informed, is available across most of the United States, with the notable exception of New York-a place, it seems, where such innovations are not quite à la mode. Variable rates and liquidation risks are, of course, tied to the whims of the market, a detail that should not escape the astute observer. And pray, what is the limit? A cool $1 million in USDC. Quite the sum, would you not agree? 💸

Bridgewater Associates founder Ray Dalio, who has in the past has said he owns some bitcoin , put a clearer figure on it, saying it’s been about 1% of his portfolio for some time. 🧠💸

This audacious plan follows President Trump’s March 2025 executive order, which summoned a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve like a crypto genie. Congress, ever the trend-followers, now seeks to etch Bitcoin into the federal ledger. If only they’d remembered to include a “do not overinflate” clause. 🎩

Eric Balchunas, the seer of Bloomberg, first spied this maneuver-a trust registration in Delaware, the land where corporations bloom like daisies in spring. A mere procedural formality? Nay, ’tis but the opening act in the grand theater of crypto ETFs! 🎭

According to XWIN Research, STHs’ Spent Output Profit Ratio (STH-SOPR) has sunk to 0.97, which is basically crypto code for “I bought the peak and now I’m crying into my stablecoins.” Their MVRV ratio is also underwater, because nothing says “confidence” like being 65,000 BTC short and counting. 🐳💸

For a metric so slow and sedate, like a venerable tortoise measuring risks over epochs, such a precipitous plunge is more bewildering than a fool’s errand-disconcerting, even! As if the river of fortune itself took a sudden turn, leaving our brave Bitcoin floundering in troubled waters. 🐢💸

Crypto heatmap on Nov. 20 | Source: Coin360.com

While the sector donned a positive mask, not all ETFs joined the masquerade. BlackRock’s IBIT strutted with $60.61 million in inflows, and Grayscale’s Mini Trust added $53.84 million. Meanwhile, Fidelity’s FBTC and VanEck’s HODL wept, shedding $21.35 million and $17.63 million, respectively. A tale of haves and have-nots, my dear reader. 🎭💔

Analyst Ali (@ali_charts) dropped a bombshell: whales sold 190M XRP in two days. Translation: they’re either prepping for a crypto winter or just really hate us. XRP’s back at $2.11, which feels like the price of admission to a “buy the dip” joke nobody wants to tell. Historically, whale selloffs are like crypto’s version of a midlife crisis – messy and full of regret.