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Apparently, this wasn’t about making a quick buck. The Institute of Technology and Renewable Energies (ITER), tied to the local bureaucrats on Tenerife, bought these coins as part of some scientific odyssey. They were studying blockchain, not trying to become billionaire Bitcoin overlords. But as fate (and rising prices) played their hand, now they’re trying to turn the digital relics into cold, hard cash. Spanish regulators – the fearsome Bank of Spain and CNMV – are knocking at the door, readying the officials to convert their legacy experiment into actual money, instead of just electronic bits. Spoiler: bureaucracy isn’t known for its speed or humor. 🐢💼

Naturally, amidst this fleeting moment of triumph, a whale – one of those shadowy figures who seem to manipulate the tides of fortune – has chosen to deposit a rather vulgar 50,000,000 XRP (a sum of $115.29 million, if one must be precise) at Gemini Exchange. One shudders to think of the logistical nightmare involved.

“To sell is to embrace the bear with open arms,” declared Bitcoin analyst PlanC on the illustrious Mr. M Podcast, where wisdom flows as freely as cheap champagne. “And what does one do after selling? Why, take to social media, of course-where every doomsayer becomes a prophet, and every tweet a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

The Facts

November, that most splendid month, of joy and revelry, has always been a good fortune for bitcoin. Historical data from Coinglass presents an assuring image, showing that our digital protagonist has bestowed positive monthly returns 66% of the time between 2013 and 2024-an era we naively considered marked by rational behavior! Yet, alas, this November has so cunningly chosen to deviate from tradition. BTC finds itself down a tragic 6.72%, ensnared by the dual forces of bad luck and the insatiable greed of its supporters-those who dream of riches while feasting on hopes of unattainable heights.

The whale isn’t just dipping its toes in; it’s making a splash with $43 million leveraged long after Ethereum took a 17% dive this week, causing many others to flee like they’re running from a bad breakup.

This, naturally, has set the crypto community ablaze with debates over the ever-delicate balance between privacy and crime. Spoiler alert: nobody can seem to agree.

Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round! A sneaky imposter app, masquerading as the illustrious Hyperliquid, has been caught red-handed on the Google Play Store. This digital doppelgänger is more dangerous than a hungry lion at a vegan buffet! It mimics the real app’s design so well, it’d fool your grandma-and we all know she’s sharper than a tack! Once you hand over your wallet details, these scammers go on a shopping spree with your crypto. Poof! Your funds vanish faster than a Brooks film at a serious film festival!

In the realm of Bitcoin, the price clings stubbornly to the $100,000 threshold, as though tethered by the ghost of greed itself. Yet, the specter of collapse lingers, waiting for the price to breach $108,000-a test of the market’s fleeting resolve.

In an X post that could double as a modern-day runescription, Brett declared that if Bitcoin starts closing weekly candles below the 50W MA (Moving Average, for those who’ve never tried to track a dragon’s tail), the odds of this being the “top” increase. Notably, Brett previously predicted October’s peak-like a soothsayer who just got lucky and then leaned into it. After rallying to a new all-time high of $126,000 last month, BTC has since been on a decline, much like the morale of a samurai after discovering his sword is made of cheese.