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That trend line’s looking as wild as your uncle Frank after a few too many.
Source: TradingView

And guess what? All that moolah is going straight into buying more Bitcoin. Talk about a one-trick pony, but hey, if it works, it works, right? 🐴 The big idea here is to bump up the amount of BTC each share represents, which sounds like a plan to me. 🤔

And how did this grand affair unfold? Why, on a Thursday, no less! Chief State Prosecutor Radim Dragoun, a man known for his eloquence and flair, announced that they were “securing people and things” in a criminal case that had been separated for independent proceedings. One can only imagine the things being secured-perhaps a few exotic pets, a collection of rare stamps, or simply a mountain of Bitcoin?

Le metteur en scène, M. Marché, semble vouloir donner son tonnerre de finale dans… eh bien, dans environ soixante-dix dièses de répliques, soit entre le 15 octobre et le 15 novembre 2025. O tempora, o mores ! 🤹‍♂️

So, Bitcoin had its moment in the spotlight on Thursday, hitting a shiny new all-time high. But like any good party, it had to come to an end. Now, everyone’s wondering if the market’s just taking a breather or if it’s time to panic and start binge-watching Netflix. 📊 Enter Boris, the crypto trader and on-chain expert, with his deep dive into the BTC market using the magic of supply dynamics. 🧙‍♂️

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), that bastion of order in a chaotic world, has noted a disturbing trend: a surge in criminal activity facilitated by these very machines. In 2024 alone, nearly 11,000 complaints of fraud were lodged, amounting to a staggering $246 million. 🤑 And who are the primary targets? The wise and venerable senior citizens, of course, whose trust and goodwill are exploited with alarming frequency. 👵👴

And hold onto your hats, ’cause Husky Inu’s also lassoing itself toward another fundraising milestone, nearin’ $900,000 like a cowboy chasin’ a sunset. 🌅💰

Earlier, on Fox Business, he had the audacity to proclaim, “We’re not going to be buying that,” sending Bitcoin tumbling from $121,100 to $118,950 faster than a Coward cocktail at a society party. 🍸💸 But, oh! The plot thickens! Later, on social media, he clarified that the department is “exploring budget-neutral pathways” to acquire more Bitcoin. How delightfully vague! 🧐

Now, let’s address the elephant in the blockchain room! Ethereum’s current market cap is flirting at around $450 billion. The global crude oil market? A hefty $2.6 trillion. So, if Ethereum is indeed the plumbing of our financial world, why shouldn’t it rival oil? Simple math suggests that ETH needs a 6.6x jump to reach oil’s benchmark. If we crowdfund a few time machines and get this thing to $20,000, we’ll be laughing all the way to the bank! And no, this isn’t based on hopium; drop that notion right now. We’re talking infrastructure. We’re talking real usage. We’re talking yield that’s more reliable than grandma’s cookie recipe! 🍪

In a thrilling twist of fate, our AI buddy decided to consult four large language models (because why not?) with the same inputs to come up with its grand predictions. It took a good look at the latest price antics, historical drama, and all those fancy technical market tools like Fibonacci extensions (which sounds like a yoga pose, but isn’t) and support and resistance lines. Oh, and let’s not forget the potential catalysts-like ETF applications, legal clarity, and the overall state of the universe. 🌌