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Ah, Telegram! The messaging giant, now playfully entangling itself deeper into blockchain threads, announces its flirtation-more blockchain integration. As if their millions of users might suddenly start depositing their bread and butter into TON-an ecosystem boasting over 900 million users-before breakfast. Earlier in the week, TON gained 4.39%, perhaps thanks to shiny new crypto projects blossoming within Telegram’s digital garden. Decentralized apps, payment swipers, NFT congurations-it’s not just a chat app, it’s a bustling blockchain party, and Toncoin is supposedly the shiny guest of honor.

Source – X (where bravado sometimes masquerades as data)

Source – X

The surge is being driven by, dare we say, institutional capital. Yes, you read that right. Over $8.7 billion has flowed into Ethereum-focused exchange-traded funds (ETFs) since their launch. The kind of buying pressure that makes one wonder if ETH might be just the thing to bring the proverbial “institutional herd” to the yard. And if you’re wondering whether the rise will last, just look at the charts. It’s looking solid, at least for now.

These hydrogen-powered marvels, soaring at a dizzying 60,000 feet in the stratosphere, promise to blanket an impressive 15,000 square kilometers per aircraft with their 450 guidable beams. Charles Barnett, the chief business officer of World Mobile Group, shared this revelation with CryptoMoon, and one can only imagine the look of awe on the faces of those who heard it. Who knew connectivity could be so… airborne?

Rather than sully their own hands with every attack, these cunning operators employ a ransomware-as-a-service model, leasing their malicious wares to partners who execute the breaches. Analysts, with their noses firmly in their ledgers, declare this strategy has allowed the group to expand with alarming celerity. Alas, major U.S. healthcare systems, pharmaceutical distributors, and other essential services have fallen prey to their schemes. Hospitals in Georgia and Idaho, alongside American Associated Pharmacies, have all been beset, with ransom notes as audacious as they are exorbitant-some demanding over $1 million! 💸

The scam, a labyrinthine web of deceit, ensnared over 80,000 investors across Himachal Pradesh and its neighboring realms. A tragedy of Shakespearian proportions, if Shakespeare had deigned to write about cryptocurrency. 🕸️💔

According to CoinGecko’s latest analysis, these four firms together hold nearly 0.65% of Solana’s entire circulating supply-because apparently, they’ve decided to stake their claim in the crypto wild west with the enthusiasm of a kid in a candy store. Upexi, the overachiever of the bunch, has accumulated a staggering 1.9 million SOL in just four months, paying an average of $168.63 per token. That’s roughly the same as a luxury yacht in Solana dollars! 🚤

In the last week, the stablecoin capitalization has risen by a mere $3.051 billion, which is about as exciting as watching paint dry, but hey, it’s a 1.14% gain! According to defillama’s dashboard, this new total is tantalizingly close to its previous peak, which is like saying you’re almost at the top of a very steep hill-just a few more steps and you might find yourself rolling back down.

For months, the Fed’s been sitting on their hands like a cat on a hot tin roof, keeping rates steady between 4.25% and 4.50%. Meanwhile, ol’ President Trump’s been squawking louder than a goose at a fox convention for a rate cut, while Fed Chairman Jerome Powell’s been playing hard-to-get. It’s a regular hoedown of monetary policy, with Trump and the White House folks wanting to juice the economy, and the Fed’s FOMC committee more worried about inflation than a farmer in a drought. 🌾💸