Eric Trump Says Bitcoin Will Hit $1M & You Won’t Believe Why! 🤯

In his latest remarks-which may or may not have been delivered while standing on a soapbox made of solid gold-the son of a certain former U.S. President declared that Bitcoin is hotter than a laptop running Crysis on max settings. According to him, everyone from your grandma’s investment club to entire nations are now frantically piling into crypto like it’s a Black Friday sale at the Metaverse Walmart.

Beneath the Canopy of Bitcoin: A Tale of Trumped-Up Buzz and Quantum Quibbles 😜

Investors, you see, ain’t been all bourbon and cigars the whole second half-they been busy chasing every shiny good that come a-dippin’ its hat in their mailbox. “There’s a bushel of shiny trinkets out there causin’ tides to rise,” Thorn muttered, speakin’ of AI, gold, and them fancy nuclear doodads. “But give me the privilege of my time, and I’ll buy us a cheaper steak.”

Korean Traders Swap Memecoins for Chips: A Wild Ride 🚀🥶

Once upon a time, South Korea was the Vegas of crypto speculation. The “Kimchi Premium” was a thing, and traders moved markets like they were auditioning for “Dancing with the Stars.” 🌟💃 But by late 2025, the crypto party is over, and everyone’s gone home – or, more accurately, to the stock market.

Crypto Market Hits a Snag: The Liquidity Drought You Didn’t See Coming!

According to Wintermute, the algorithmic trading firm that’s apparently been reading the room correctly, crypto’s liquidity channels are slowing down, despite the fact that the broader economy is still feeling loose. Stablecoins took a bit of a hit this week-a reduction, the first in months-and that’s not the kind of news anyone wants to hear when they’re hoping for smooth sailing.

Trump’s Bitcoin Hoard: $1.3B or Bust? 💸

The disclosure marks the company’s largest confirmed allocation to date and places it among the biggest public-sector corporate holders of Bitcoin. Which is impressive if you ignore the fact that they’re still losing money like it’s going out of style. 🚨