qfx The disclosure marks the company’s largest confirmed allocation to date and places it among the biggest public-sector corporate holders of Bitcoin. Which is impressive if you ignore the fact that they’re still losing money like it’s going out of style. 🚨
Critics accuse Trump of using crypto for political gain, from the U.S. Crypto Strategic Reserve announcement that allegedly fueled a market pump, to the pardon of Binance founder CZ. A plot thicker than a Bitcoin block, served with a side of 🍔 politics.
It seems the plebeians, the little people, are flocking to this digital gold, while the titans, the leviathans of the market, are… quietly departing. A most unsettling premonition, wouldn’t you agree? 🤔
One cannot help but chuckle at the irony. The same institution that once dismissed Bitcoin as a “fraud” now clings to it like a socialite to a new fad. According to their 13F filing, this $343 million wager spans high-net-worth portfolios and institutional coffers alike. A strategic shift, they call it. Or, as the peasants might say, “clutching at digital straws.” 🌾📈
Ethereum’s recent 5% daily leap was the trading gods’ version of a quick wink-to distract you from the chaos. The illustrious Ted claims that this surge is not a sign of enthusiasm but rather a riot of liquidated shorts swooping out of the rubble, leaving behind a questionable wreckage of panic-stricken traders. Yes, millions-about $133.83 million worth-vanished faster than your paycheck after a weekend in Vegas. 🥴 The market’s playing head or tail, and right now, it’s just a flip of the coin-except the coin is bloody and twice as finicky.
Now, before you get all excited imagining Kazakhstan hoarding Bitcoin, let me spoil the fun: this fund won’t directly hold Bitcoin or any of those other unpredictable tokens. Instead, it’s opting for something much more refined (and less volatile, thank heavens)-investing in ETFs linked to the crypto markets and crypto companies that are doing the oh-so-modern work of blockchain technology and digital infrastructure. It’s like crypto, but with all the highs and lows taken out. How absolutely charming. 😌
Analysts, ever the optimists, whisper that despite the chaos, Bitcoin’s path is paved with gold, though they might be wearing rose-colored glasses. 🧢 Their words are as reliable as a desert rainstorm-unpredictable and fleeting. 🌦️
