qfx

But here’s the thing—don’t get too excited. The volume? Yeah, it’s kind of like a 2 a.m. pizza delivery: looks good, but it’s probably not the real deal. All this price action is being pushed by leverage and short squeezes, kind of like when your friend swears they know how to fix the Wi-Fi, but you end up calling a professional anyway. Bitcoin did the same thing, so no, this isn’t a breakthrough, it’s more like a trend-following disaster waiting to happen. 😅

According to the illustrious Charlie Bilello, chief market strategist at Creative Planning, this marks a curious moment in history: the two titans, Bitcoin and Gold, vying for the top spot in a way that has never quite been seen before. One might say it’s as if two old acquaintances are now in a heated, albeit friendly, race to the top. “We’ve never seen these two in the number one and number two spots for any calendar year,” says Bilello, nodding sagely as if it were a delightful novelty—though it’s hardly a surprise, considering the economic chaos at hand.

Ah, Bitcoin, that mischievous rascal, just tossed its hat over the fence, soaring past $123,000 early Monday, strutting towards that enticing $140,000 mark hinted at by BlackRock’s recent breakout. 🎩

In a recent discourse upon the esteemed airwaves of CNBC Television, the sharp-witted Rebecca Patterson, erstwhile chief investment strategist, bemoaned the lamentable fate of the US dollar, which has unceremoniously depreciated by approximately 10% in this academic year—an indignity not witnessed for over half a century! 😮

On the fateful day of July 11, documents unveiled the proclamation of a New York federal judge, who, with a whip of his judicial pen, hastily dismissed the case against Dolce & Gabbana USA Inc. This lone defendant on American soil found itself serenely untouched by the ripples of the lawsuit, much to the dismay of the plaintiff, Luke Brown, who, it seems, was eager to play the role of a modern-day Don Quixote battling windmills.

Warning one: Microsoft reveals its topological-qubit chip that finally solves the stability problem and puts fault-tolerant hardware on a visible timeline. Warning two: Google’s 105-qubit Willow processor shows an hour-long error-corrected operation, orders of magnitude better than 2024’s record. Warning three: Chinese researchers published peer-reviewed results on the 105-qubit Zuchongzhi 3.0 processor running an 83-qubit random-circuit sampling task. Usually, that would keep the world’s fastest classical supercomputer busy for an estimated 5.9 billion years, but this works out to roughly a million-fold advantage over previous quantum-speed records.

According to the astoundingly astute pseudonymous oracle of crypto wisdom, Martinez—whose follower count rivals the size of small countries—this bullish breakout is hinged on a miraculous cup and handle that could make even the most clueless barista green with envy. We’ve been brewing this deliciously complex pattern since mid-2021, folks! ☕️

This powerful surge caps off a remarkable seven-day rally, with the token up 91% over the past week and an impressive 195% over the past month. Pudgy Penguin’s (PENGU) market capitalization is now approaching $2 billion, leaving investors eager for more. 💰

Let’s take a gander at the numbers. Bitcoin’s just ripped past the $122k mark with a 2.42% intra-day move. That’s no small potatoes, friends. In fact, it’s the most aggressive rally of the cycle so far. And we’re not just talking about your run-of-the-mill, everyday rally. No sir, this one’s got some serious oomph behind it. 💪

Just when you thought it couldn’t bounce any higher, the world’s leading digital coin decided to make a real spectacle of itself, much like an overenthusiastic peacock at a poultry pageant. After a week of frolicking in financial fields, the BTC price has soared to laudable new altitudes, with analysts scratching their heads and adjusting their monocles, stating this is just another tiny bump on the winding road to even higher highs—like a particularly harrowing rollercoaster ride. 🎢