qfx Michael Selig, freshly anointed as the ringmaster of the U.S. derivatives regulator, has unveiled his grand spectacle: “Future Proof,” a manifesto of regulatory minimalism. With the flourish of a bureaucrat turned showman, he promises to untangle the Gordian knot of rules that strangle innovation, yet somehow, miraculously, preserve the illusion of control.
According to a Jan. 21 report by the Financial Times, this glittering new fund will make its grand debut in the first quarter of 2026. No exact date, of course-because when dealing with such sums, one must keep an air of mystery.
In a series of posts on X (formerly Twitter), Monica Long, who clearly has a PhD in Crypto-Optimism, declared that the industry is now entering a “production era”-because nothing says “serious business” like a bunch of digital tokens.
Crypto.com, Bybit (whereby the name suggests either cryptocurrency or cowboy poetry), KuCoin, Gate.io, and Bitget-each a bauble in the necklace of global finance. Alas, the token’s early price movement is a liar’s poker game, volatile enough to make a trader question their life choices.
Binance, that grand gaming table where fortunes are tossed like confetti, reveals a curious game of chess between spot prices and funding rates. Ah, early 2026! A year where the market, cloaked in the guise of substance, leans upon the volatile waltz of spot buyers rather than the pyric feats of derivative leverage. Such a setup-a tapestry of tempered risk-suggests the death of the lemming herd, yet the faintest echo of their suicidal jumps still haunts the charts. A spot-led rally, they claim, is but a polite gathering of buyers, sipping champagne in the ballroom of hope. A fragile delicacy, perhaps, but one that shuns the rousing chaos of cascading liquidations, those sardonic specters that have lately turned bull markets into battlegrounds.
The pullback, while technically “short-term exhaustion,” hasn’t dented the broader market’s enthusiasm. Participants are still out there, buying with the enthusiasm of a man who just discovered his ex’s new dating profile. Institutions, meanwhile, are accumulating Bitcoin like it’s the last bag of crisps in a post-apocalyptic supermarket.
“The monetary order is breaking down,” Dalio said, probably while adjusting his $5,000 scarf. “What I mean by the monetary order is that fiat currencies and debt as a store of wealth are not being held by central banks like they used to. And that’s a change.” Thanks, Ray. We’ll file that under “No Duh.”
Paradex, a Starknet-based perpetuals exchange, said it refunded $650,000 to about 200 users after a database migration error triggered incorrect liquidations, mainly involving PAXG.
In case you were wondering, Strategy shares tumbled to $161, barely above the crucial support level of $149.75-the lowest it’s been all year. This is a 70% drop from its all-time high, proving once again that what goes up must come down, preferably while I’m not watching.
And what does this mean in terms of cold hard cash? A whopping $60 billion worth of staked SOL! That’s more money than I could lose in my entire lifetime of investing!