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Crypto exchange Gemini decided to play matchmaker between your crypto and your sanity. They unveiled the Gemini Wallet, a self-custody smart wallet that claims to make on-chain interactions simpler. Because nothing says “user-friendly” like eliminating recovery phrases and replacing them with passkeys. The announcement was posted on Gemini’s official X account, where the community responded with a mix of awe and confusion (because crypto is still magic to most people).

According to CoinMarketCap, these memecoins have dropped by at least 10% in the past seven days. Someone cue the sad violin music. 🎻

Pretend, if you will, that the plodding Bitcoin mainnet is a horse-drawn landau, perfect for dowager duchesses but hopeless in a Grand Prix. Along comes $HYPER brandishing a turbocharger and a Solana pit crew, promising sub-second flings and gas fees cheaper than soggy fish-and-chips. Suddenly your dusty BTC can sprint, program, meme, parley with Ethereum and Solana, and generally behave like it’s been to finishing school for over-achievers. 🏎️

According to the wise sages of data, the upper Bollinger Band has set its sights on a lofty $3.37, while the middle band, ever so modest, resides at $3.10. The lower band, bless its heart, languishes at $2.84. Fear not, for our gallant XRP has not plummeted to the depths of despair but has valiantly risen above the middle band! 🏰

ETF analyst Eric Balchunas-who, no doubt, is as shocked as a man who’s just seen his morning coffee spill all over his suit-reported that Ether ETFs alone achieved a staggering $17 billion in weekly trading volume. Yes, $17 billion! And this wasn’t some drawn-out, slow-burn drama; no, this was a flash fire, a sharp, unexpected spike after months of blessed silence. The whole event has caused trading desks to break into a cold sweat, rethinking just how fast the river of money can flow when the right winds blow.

Sharplink Gaming (Nasdaq: SBET) has emerged as one of the largest corporate holders of Ethereum ( ETH), boasting a delightful 728,804 ETH in its treasury as of June 30, 2025. According to its Q2 report, this milestone was achieved just weeks after the company decided to give its balance sheet a little makeover, with Ethereum as its primary reserve asset. How avant-garde! 🎩

Yes, dear reader, Mow has spoken, and his words are as fiery as ever. He believes that Ethereum’s days are numbered-or at least its value is. According to him, this is the final opportunity for ETH investors to “save” their portfolios by converting their assets into Bitcoin. How generous of him! 🙄

Source – X

Source – X

As the world collectively fainted upon Bitcoin’s new all-time high (smelling salts not included), ETH watched nearby, politely applauding from a distance, growing nicely yet refusing to publicly shout, “Bravo!”