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The market’s closing the week with a candle as red as Bertie Wooster’s face after a run-in with Aunt Agatha, wiping out nearly a month of steady gains. It’s all rather deleveraging, what? 💼🔥

Apparently, the Salvadoran National Assembly thought, “Why stop at one term when you can have… well, ALL of them?” In a move that screams “dictator-in-training,” they’ve now allowed presidential candidates to run for reelection indefinitely. Oh, and they bumped the presidential term from five years to six. Because why not? 🥳

And lo, the altcoins, those supporting actors of the crypto stage, doth waffle in indecision. ETH, once proud, now shies away from $3,500, while SOL teeters on the brink of $160. Alas, the plot thickens! 🧐

This article is from Theminermag, a trade publication for the cryptocurrency mining industry, focusing on the latest news and research on institutional bitcoin mining companies. 🧠💸

Yes, dear reader, while Bitcoin strutted around like a proud peacock, SharpLink snuck behind the curtains—grabbing Ethereum like a bandit—signaling an ominous shift. The so-called “analysts” (ah, those wise fools) whisper that this could be a turning point. Ethereum, once a mere sidekick to Bitcoin’s throne, might soon be the real boss in the corporate treasury game. And why not? DeFi, real-world assets—it’s like Ethereum suddenly woke up looking handsome and useful. Investors eagerly watch this new drama unfold, popcorn in hand.

It didn’t just stop at snacks! ETH pioneered smart contracts — those magical digital IOUs that do stuff without a boss watching over your shoulder — and sparked a wildfire of layer-2 chains and Web3 craziness. Think of it as the digital Las Vegas with less gambling and more code, baby! 🎰💻

Acting Chairman Caroline D. Pham, a woman of decisive action and questionable life choices, announced on August 1st that the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) would embark on a “crypto sprint,” a term that sounds suspiciously like a toddler’s tantrum but is, in fact, a plan to follow the President’s Working Group’s report. Speaking from the belly of Washington’s bureaucratic beast, Pham declared the CFTC’s intent to “coordinate” with other agencies to build a “structured foundation” for crypto innovation. Because nothing says “structured foundation” like a committee meeting. 🚨🏛️

Recently, Metaplanet announced the issuance of perpetual preferred shares totaling about 555 billion yen (roughly $3.7 billion), a sum so vast that even Wall Street might trip over its own financial shoelaces. The upcoming Extraordinary General Meeting will determine if shareholders are willing to sanction this audacious plan to swell their Bitcoin reserves—because what’s wealth without a little risk, yes? 🎲

In a universe seemingly governed by inexplicable logic, Conflux [CFX] has decided to spice things up by executing the v3.0.0 hardfork upgrade, which people are whispering about as if it’s the second coming of sliced bread. The deadline for such futuristic sorcery? A quaint little date of the 1st of September. So, mark your calendars, folks!

Robert Kiyosaki, whose words have enriched the minds and wallets of many through his best-selling tome, “Rich Dad Poor Dad,” now turns his gaze to the tumultuous landscape of American finance and the burgeoning realm of cryptocurrencies. This book, a beacon of financial wisdom, has traversed the globe, touching the lives of millions across countless tongues and cultures.