Bitcoin Billionaires: Japan’s Metaplanet Goes ALL IN! 🚀

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Okay, so there’s this Japanese company, Metaplanet. And they really, REALLY like Bitcoin. Like, “spending more money on Bitcoin than I spend on shoes” level of liking. They just dropped $632.53 million on 5,419 Bitcoins. Which, let’s be real, is a shopping spree. I mean, did anyone check if they needed that money for, like, employee dental? 🦷

Now they’re sitting on a grand total of 25,555 Bitcoins. That’s…a lot of Bitcoin. Apparently, they’ve blown through almost $2.71 billion on this stuff. Which, again, feels like a risky move. But hey, who am I to judge? I once bought a lifetime supply of scented candles. It didn’t end well. 🔥

*Metaplanet Acquires Additional 5,419 $BTC, Total Holdings Reach 25,555 BTC*

– Metaplanet Inc. (@Metaplanet_JP) September 22, 2025

And because everything needs a current market value, that pile of Bitcoin is now worth approximately $2.93 billion. So they’re basically up a little bit? Good for them. Also good for whoever sold them those Bitcoins. Smart people. 🧠

They’re almost to their goal of 30,000 Bitcoins-they’re at 85%-which is like being 85% done with that diet you started in January. It *feels* good, but you still have a ways to go. They even have fancy metrics like “BTC Yield,” which I assume is how much Bitcoin they’re getting for their Bitcoin. It’s very circular.

Funding the Habit

Where are they getting all this money, you ask? Well, they’ve been hitting up the stock market like I hit up the bakery when I’m stressed. They recently issued a bunch of new shares (385 million, to be exact) and raked in $1.4 billion. Basically, people are paying them to buy Bitcoin. It’s beautiful, in a slightly terrifying way. 😨

They started treating Bitcoin like a legitimate business line in 2024 which… okay. Okay. Good for them. And their stock? It went DOWN 1.65% after this announcement. Classic. You pour millions into a speculative asset and the market is like, “Hmm, are you SURE about that?” 🤷‍♀️

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2025-09-22 11:58