Bitcoin Goes Neutral: Will It Cry or Will It Cry Again? 🤡💸

Behold, the saga continues! Metaplanet, a Japanese investment company with the ambition of a caffeinated squirrel, and El Salvador, the crypto-loving country that thinks Bitcoin is a national treasure (and maybe a tax strategy), have once again *gasp* bought Bitcoin. Why? Because the Bitcoin Fear & Greed Index, that mystical barometer of panic and greed, has returned to “neutral.” Neutral! As in, not *terrified* like a toddler in a horror movie. Progress, folks! 🚀

Metaplanet, in a bold move that screams “I have too much cash and a death wish,” added 136 BTC to its vault, bringing its grand total to 20,136 BTC. That’s worth over $2.2 billion-enough to buy 210,000 Bitcoins by 2027, per CEO Simon Gerovich. Wait, what? Is this a corporate Bitcoin heist or a Netflix limited series? Either way, Metaplanet is now the sixth-largest Bitcoin hoarder in Japan. At roughly $111k per coin, they’re basically the Robin Hood of crypto… if Robin Hood charged 10% fees and wore a suit. 🎩

Stock Price: Down, but Not Out (Yet)

Metaplanet’s shares initially soared 19% after their first Bitcoin splurge, but now? They’re down 3% like a deflated balloon animal at a funeral. Still, year-to-date gains of 92.45% suggest someone’s laughing all the way to the bank-or at least to the next leveraged buyout. Meanwhile, the company plans to raise $880 million via a public offering. Because why not? Let’s turn this into a Las Vegas night of crypto, capitalism, and questionable life choices. 🎰

El Salvador Buys Bitcoin for Its Birthday: A Soiree of Digital Gold

El Salvador’s President Nayib Bukele, the man who turned his country into a Bitcoin-themed playground, just purchased 21 more Bitcoins to celebrate “Bitcoin Day.” The country now holds 6,313 BTC, a stash that’s less a treasury and more a cry for help from the IMF. Oh, and the IMF said El Salvador hasn’t bought any Bitcoin since 2024. Spoiler: They lied! Or maybe the IMF just needs a nap. Either way, Bukele’s Bitcoin shenanigans are the plot twist we didn’t ask for. 🎉

Saylor’s “Orange” Signal: The Most Dramatic Stock Tip Ever

Mike Saylor, the Bitcoin oracle in a pinstripe toga, dropped a cryptic message on X: “Needs more orange.” Translation: “We’re buying Bitcoin, but we’re too cool to just say so.” Strategy, the corporate Bitcoin kingpin with 636,505 BTC, is now up 12% year-to-date. Meanwhile, the Crypto Fear & Greed Index flirted with “fear” but now winks at “neutral.” Neutral! As in, not *terrified*. Phew. 🍊


Bitcoin Goes Neutral: Will It Cry or Will It Cry Again? 🤡💸

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2025-09-08 09:43