Brace yourselves, folks! The stock market threw a party on Thursday, and guess who crashed it? Bitcoin, of course, because why not? 🥳📈
BTC Joins the Stock Market’s Champagne Shower 🍾🚀
So, here’s the tea: Inflation was a tiny bit spicier than expected (thanks, Bureau of Labor Statistics, for the heart palpitations), but the real drama? Jobless claims surged like a bad Tinder date gone wrong. Economists are now convinced the Fed will cut rates next week, and suddenly, stocks were like, “Let’s break records!” All three major indices closed at all-time highs, and Bitcoin was like, “Hold my crypto,” and joined the rally. 🌟💸
The S&P 500 hit 6,587.47, the Nasdaq finally broke 22,000 (congrats, tech bros!), and the Dow was like, “46,000? Hold my martini.” Meanwhile, Oracle’s Larry Ellison is now richer than Elon Musk thanks to a 36% stock surge. Sorry, Elon, maybe sell a few more Teslas? 🚗💔
But let’s talk crypto: Bitcoin hit $116K overnight before chilling at $115K on Friday. Because, you know, even Bitcoin needs a coffee break. ☕✨
“Bitcoin will hit $1 million in 10 years,” Tyler Winklevoss said, probably while sipping a $50 latte. “It’s still early innings,” he added, which is finance speak for “I’m rich, and you’re not.” 🤓💎
Market Metrics: The Boring Bits (But Important!)
Bitcoin was trading at $115,026.52 at the time of writing, up 0.38% in the last 24 hours. It’s been swinging between $114,030.39 and $116,317.21, because drama is its middle name. 🎢📊
Trading volume? Flat. Market cap? Up 0.53% to $2.29 trillion. Bitcoin dominance? Down 0.52% to 57.98%. Because sharing is caring, right? 🤝📉
Futures open interest? Flat. Liquidations? $68.58 million, mostly short sellers crying into their pillows. Longs lost $6.68 million, but hey, it’s a tough world out there. 😢💔
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2025-09-12 19:57