\n\n
So, apparently, the whole “quantum computers are going to destroy Bitcoin” panic isn\’t exactly…new. BitMEX Research, which sounds terribly important and probably involves people in dark suits, has done a retrospective. A retrospective! As if Bitcoin needs analysing like it\’s a problematic relationship. 🙄
\n\n
They’ve compared what people were saying about quantum computing back in, like, the Stone Age of Bitcoin (circa 2010 – which, let’s face it, is basically yesterday in tech time) to what they\’re saying now. And the astonishing thing? It\’s the same conversation. Seriously. Just…again. 🤦\u200d♀️
\n\n
Apparently, back then, everyone was convinced the US government would crack Bitcoin’s super-secret code (ECDSA, sounds like a spy movie) within five years. Five years! Like buying a slightly overpriced avocado that’s already brown inside. They wanted an immediate switch to “post-quantum” algorithms. Dramatic, much?
\n\n
They dug up this ancient forum post, a bit like unearthing a time capsule of digital anxiety, from BitcoinTalk. It’s full of people either predicting Bitcoin’s imminent doom or rolling their eyes, which, honestly, feels very relatable. Someone described quantum computing as a “massive hammer” which, frankly, is a slightly aggressive metaphor. 🔨
\n\n
Some very concerned users – Kiba and Grondilu, I salute your foresight (or panic!) – pointed out that if quantum computers could break Bitcoin, they could break everything. SSL, banking, national security. Basically, Game Over for modern life. Which, when you think about it, is quite a lot to hang on this whole cryptocurrency thing.
\n\n
But a whole load of other people basically said, “Chill out, it’s just science fiction.” One person pointed out that the most exciting thing quantum computers had done at the time was factor the number 15. Fifteen! Honestly, my calculator can probably do that. They also questioned the entire existence of D-Wave, which, you know, sounds like something from Star Trek. 🖖
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The Benefit of Not Panicking (Apparently)
\n\n
BitMEX Research suggests that if Bitcoin had panicked and switched to quantum-resistant cryptography 10 or 15 years ago, it would have been a colossal mistake. Honestly, can you imagine? All that upheaval for…nothing? It\’s the digital equivalent of changing your entire wardrobe because of a fleeting fashion trend. 👗
\n\n
Apparently, the early quantum-resistant signatures were HUGE. Like, kilobytes huge. Which means every transaction would have been incredibly slow, expensive, and filled with, well, data. Bloated blockchain, they called it. An unlovely image. It\’s like trying to fit a king-size duvet into a single bed. Just no.
\n\n
But now, things are different. Now we have slightly less enormous solutions. They\’ve apparently managed to get a signature down to 350 bytes, which, apparently, is a big deal. It’s small enough to be “practical.” Meanwhile, standard Bitcoin signatures are only 64 bytes. I mean, who even notices the difference? (Don\’t answer that, I’m sure someone does.) The early stuff was thousands of bytes! The sheer scale of it all is just… exhausting. 😴
\n\n
So, apparently, the whole “quantum computers are going to destroy Bitcoin” panic isn’t exactly…new. BitMEX Research, which sounds terribly important and probably involves people in dark suits, has done a retrospective. A retrospective! As if Bitcoin needs analysing like it’s a problematic relationship. 🙄
They’ve compared what people were saying about quantum computing back in, like, the Stone Age of Bitcoin (circa 2010 – which, let’s face it, is basically yesterday in tech time) to what they’re saying now. And the astonishing thing? It’s the same conversation. Seriously. Just…again. 🤦♀️
Apparently, back then, everyone was convinced the US government would crack Bitcoin’s super-secret code (ECDSA, sounds like a spy movie) within five years. Five years! Like buying a slightly overpriced avocado that’s already brown inside. They wanted an immediate switch to “post-quantum” algorithms. Dramatic, much?
They dug up this ancient forum post, a bit like unearthing a time capsule of digital anxiety, from BitcoinTalk. It’s full of people either predicting Bitcoin’s imminent doom or rolling their eyes, which, honestly, feels very relatable. Someone described quantum computing as a “massive hammer” which, frankly, is a slightly aggressive metaphor. 🔨
Some very concerned users – Kiba and Grondilu, I salute your foresight (or panic!) – pointed out that if quantum computers could break Bitcoin, they could break everything. SSL, banking, national security. Basically, Game Over for modern life. Which, when you think about it, is quite a lot to hang on this whole cryptocurrency thing.
But a whole load of other people basically said, “Chill out, it’s just science fiction.” One person pointed out that the most exciting thing quantum computers had done at the time was factor the number 15. Fifteen! Honestly, my calculator can probably do that. They also questioned the entire existence of D-Wave, which, you know, sounds like something from Star Trek. 🖖
The Benefit of Not Panicking (Apparently)
BitMEX Research suggests that if Bitcoin had panicked and switched to quantum-resistant cryptography 10 or 15 years ago, it would have been a colossal mistake. Honestly, can you imagine? All that upheaval for…nothing? It’s the digital equivalent of changing your entire wardrobe because of a fleeting fashion trend. 👗
Apparently, the early quantum-resistant signatures were HUGE. Like, kilobytes huge. Which means every transaction would have been incredibly slow, expensive, and filled with, well, data. Bloated blockchain, they called it. An unlovely image. It’s like trying to fit a king-size duvet into a single bed. Just no.
But now, things are different. Now we have slightly less enormous solutions. They’ve apparently managed to get a signature down to 350 bytes, which, apparently, is a big deal. It’s small enough to be “practical.” Meanwhile, standard Bitcoin signatures are only 64 bytes. I mean, who even notices the difference? (Don’t answer that, I’m sure someone does.) The early stuff was thousands of bytes! The sheer scale of it all is just… exhausting. 😴
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2025-12-24 11:45