Darling, if you thought your ex’s crypto obsession was wild, just wait until you hear this. Matthew Mežinskis, a man who clearly needs a hobby more thrilling than spreadsheets, claims Bitcoin could hit $375,000 by year-end. Yes, $375,000. That’s enough to buy a small island, a yacht, and still have change for your next latte. 🏝️☕
He’s not just winging it, no. Oh no. He’s got these “power trends” and “percentile bands” that sound suspiciously like financial fairy tales. According to him, Bitcoin’s price has a habit of dancing above the 80th percentile like it’s at a particularly chaotic party. If it doesn’t hit $170k by December, he’ll “rethink the four-year cycles.” Good luck with that, love. The market’s as predictable as my ex’s text schedule. 📱
But here’s the kicker: he’s not just dreaming. He’s mathing. “The 90th percentile is 2x…so 2x is $250k,” he said, as if reciting poetry. Then he goes full James Bond villain with the “mid-90s percentiles” and a target of $375k. “Totally base case,” he insists. Pfft. Let me know when he’s going to start predicting my chances of surviving a Monday morning. 🤡
His model? A “black line” he’s tracked since 2016. Sounds less like finance and more like a conspiracy theory. And let’s not forget his snarky dismissal of the stock-to-flow ratio: “It’s like the best trend line in all of finance.” Oh, honey, if only I had a trend line as reliable as my ability to forget to pay bills. 🚨
But wait-he’s not done. He’s also warning about “leverage-driven fragility” and “liquidations of Bitcoin treasury companies.” Sounds like a game of Jenga with your savings. And if things go sideways? “It could go as high as the White House,” he says. Because nothing says “stability” like a crypto crash that makes politicians lose their minds. 🏛️💸
So, what’s the takeaway? If Bitcoin hits $170k by December, the four-year cycle stays intact. If it goes to $250k, we’re in a boom. And if it rockets to $375k? Well, that’s the “max” he expects. Which is just code for “I’m not your therapist, but let’s pretend this makes sense.”
At press time, BTC traded at $110,397. Which means you’ve still got time to buy in before your handbag can’t hold all your Bitcoin. 🛍️👛
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2025-09-04 12:11