Bitcoin to the MOON?! 🚀

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Oh. My. God. Bitcoin has apparently decided to be all… *successful*. Like, seriously successful. It’s hit a new record above $124,000, which, let’s be honest, is a number I only usually associate with shoe shopping. Supposedly, it’s because of interest rate cuts and “friendlier” crypto rules. Right. As if anyone actually *understands* those. 🤔 And people are actually… greedy? The Fear & Greed Index is at 75. Honestly, who isn’t a little bit greedy? I just want a nice handbag.

Anyway, this whole optimistic vibe has made some companies, shall we say, *bold*. Thumzup Media, a company I’d never heard of before (but which apparently has “strong political ties” – always a good sign 🙄) has decided to throw a hefty $50 million at the whole crypto thing. Fundraising, mining operations, the whole shebang. A bit much, isn’t it?

Deep Crypto Playbook

They raised the money by selling shares, which sounds terrifyingly complex. They plan on hoarding up to 90% of their cash in cryptocurrencies. 90%! That’s… a choice. Apparently, the CEO thinks it will create “durable, revenue-generating assets”. Sounds very serious. I’m just trying to generate revenue to pay my electricity bill.

Their little shopping list includes Bitcoin, Ethereum, Solana (what even *is* Solana?), Litecoin, Dogecoin (yes, really! 🐕) and now XRP. The ultimate goal? A grand total of $250 million in crypto. And because they’re sensible (ha!), they’ll keep some “stablecoins” for… well, stability, I suppose. It’s a complete transformation, from ads to digital gold. Who knew?

Coinbase Prime as a Key Partner

To safeguard all this digital loot, they’re using Coinbase Prime. The CEO called it a “cornerstone” of their strategy. Strong security, big transactions… basically, a very fancy digital safe. They’ve worked with them before, apparently setting up a Bitcoin-backed credit line. I’m not sure I follow, but it sounds complicated and probably very dangerous.

Trump Jr. Cashes Out in Secondary Offering

And speaking of complicated, Donald Trump Jr. decided to sell some of his shares. 350,000 shares, to be precise. A bit of a “cash out” moment. He’s clearly decided this is a good time to take profits. Though, honestly, who am I to judge? It just shows you how rapidly things are changing in the crypto world. People are shifting things around like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. 🚢

A Bigger Trend in Corporate Crypto

Thumzup isn’t alone in this. Apparently, *everyone* is doing it. Vivopower, Metaplanet Inc. (who made a frankly ridiculous 468% profit on Bitcoin!), ALT5 Sigma… it’s a crypto free-for-all. With Bitcoin doing so well, everyone wants a piece of the pie. And XRP, somehow, is getting a boost. Who’d have thought?

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FAQs

Why did Bitcoin hit a new record above $124K?

Because reasons. Mostly due to expected U.S. rate cuts, pro-crypto regulations, and institutional demand, with market greed index hitting 75 (extreme greed). Honestly, it’s all a bit bewildering.

What is Thumzup Media’s crypto strategy?

Nasdaq-listed Thumzup raised $50M to invest 90% in crypto (BTC, ETH, SOL, XRP) and expand mining operations, targeting $250M in holdings. It’s either brilliant or completely mad. Probably a bit of both.

Did Donald Trump Jr. sell his Thumzup stake?

Yes, Trump Jr. sold part of his 350K shares in Thumzup’s $46.5M secondary offering, reflecting investor repositioning during Bitcoin’s rally. Probably to buy more handbags. Just kidding! (Maybe.)

How are corporations adopting crypto

Companies like Thumzup, Metaplanet (+468% on BTC), and ALT5 Sigma ($1.5B raise) are aggressively building crypto treasuries amid Bitcoin’s record surge. It’s a bit like watching a very expensive game of musical chairs.

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2025-08-14 11:16