In the dimly lit theater of the blockchain, a drama unfolds-one that would make even the most jaded of Chekhov’s characters raise an eyebrow. A self-proclaimed leader of the Ordinals movement, one Leonidas (yes, like the Spartan, but with more memes), has threatened to unleash his DOG Army upon the Bitcoin Core developers. Why? Because, in his words, “censorship is the new heresy,” and he will not stand for it. 🗡️🐶
In an “open letter”-a phrase that always promises more melodrama than a Chekhovian drawing room-Leonidas declared that if Bitcoin Core dares to tighten its relay policy, he will bankroll a fork so pure, so unburdened by “policy rules,” that it will make the blockchain weep with joy. Or perhaps boredom. “Thousands will run it,” he proclaimed, with the confidence of a man who has clearly never met a thousand people willing to agree on anything. 🤷♂️
At the heart of this dispute is the question of base-layer neutrality, a concept as slippery as a Chekhovian subplot. Leonidas argues that Ordinals and Runes are not freeloaders but noble contributors, having showered Bitcoin with “over half a billion dollars in transaction fees.” Miners, he claims, are on his side-a statement as verifiable as a character’s motives in *The Cherry Orchard*. 🍒💸
Bitcoin Core Vs. Knots: A Tale of Two Ideologies
Meanwhile, the “monetary maximalists”-a group as dour as Chekhov’s uncles-are having none of it. Blockstream CEO Adam Back, with the gravitas of a man who has read too many whitepapers, declared, “Bitcoin is owned by humanity, not by JPEG enthusiasts.” Luke Dashjr, the maintainer of Knots, insists that filters are not censorship, a claim as contentious as a family dinner in *The Seagull*. 🦅🤨
Dashjr, ever the pragmatist, argues that nodes should apply relay filters while miners remain free to include any transaction that pays the piper. “Bitcoin is not a finished product,” he tweeted, a sentiment as hopeful as it is naive. After all, in Chekhov’s world, nothing is ever truly finished-only abandoned mid-act. 🛠️
Bitcoin is not a finished product. We may be on a detour to address spam, and part of the crisis did originate with (mishandling of) the Segwit and Taproot upgrades – but to improve the world, we still need more functionality. Stopping all improvements forever (“ossifying”) is…
– Luke Dashjr (@LukeDashjr) September 8, 2025
The crux of the matter lies in Bitcoin Core v30, scheduled for October, which promises to remove the 80-byte cap on OP_RETURN payloads. Proponents see this as a step toward efficiency; critics see it as the normalization of “non-monetary use of block space.” In other words, the blockchain is becoming a landfill for memes, and not everyone is here for it. 🗑️🤡
“Censoring JPEGs today, censoring freedom tomorrow.” A dramatic leap, but one that fits neatly into the narrative of a man who has clearly watched too many revolutionary films. 🎥🔥
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And so, the stage is set for a conflict as inevitable as a Chekhovian tragedy. Will the DOG Army prevail, or will the maximalists hold the line? Only time-and perhaps a few more open letters-will tell. 🕰️🎭
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2025-09-09 05:14