Markets
What to know:
- Bitcoin, that elusive market diva, graced U.S. traders with a cameo above $89K-rare as a polite debate in Congress 🎭
- Open interest dropped faster than a mic after a bad stand-up set. Short-sellers fleeing? More like short-sellers remembering their life choices. 😅
- ETFs hemorrhaging cash, holiday liquidity drier than a Chekhovian punchline, and tax ghosts haunting every trade. Crypto? Fragile as grandma’s china. 🫣
The rally began with all the drama of a Russian novel’s third act. Bitcoin, having plummeted to $87K, suddenly remembered it’s a “risk-on” asset. Or maybe it just missed the spotlight. 🌟
Americans blinked at their screens in disbelief: BTC actually rose during their trading hours! Last month’s 20% decline during U.S. sessions? A mere prologue. 📖
Coinglass whispers that open interest fell from 514K to 511K BTC. This isn’t a bull run-it’s a fire drill. 🚒
Crypto stocks snoozed through the chaos. Coinbase, Robinhood, and Circle yawned in unison. Even the S&P 500 took a nap. 🤷
Wintermute’s Jasper de Mare sighed: “ETFs are bleeding, holidays suck, and everyone’s dodging tax ghosts.” Classic. 🎭
Bitcoin ETFs lost $19.3M Monday. BlackRock’s IBIT? $157M vanished in a day. December’s tax-loss harvesting? More like “sell the family cow to pay the czar’s taxes.” 🐄💸
$27B in options expired Dec. 26-the crypto world’s New Year’s Eve party. Funding rates? Flatter than a stale martini. 🥂
Volatility dipped before Christmas, then spiked like a caffeine addict. De Mare’s advice? “Wait for January’s institutional crowd. And maybe a therapist.” 🧠
Thus, the market staggers onward-a tragicomedy where the hero is both protagonist and punchline. 🎭
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2025-12-30 19:23