Crypto News

On a Wednesday, no less-a day as mundane as a cucumber sandwich-the FCA proclaimed that retail investors may now dabble in crypto ETNs via their approved exchanges. A crypto ETN, for the uninitiated, is a debt product that allows one to flirt with cryptocurrency without the commitment of ownership. It is, in essence, a financial dalliance, a way to say, “I’m in, but not really.” These products, traded like any other security, are safeguarded by regulated custodians, lest the digital assets vanish into the ether like a poorly written novel. 📜

Solana’s native token, SOL, rebounded to $229 on Tuesday after momentarily dipping to a lowly $218. This bounce-back happened as investors gave a nod to the US Federal Reserve’s minutes from its September meeting, reaffirming the whisper of interest rate cuts coming in 2025-maybe the market can take a breather then.

Yet, even in this chaos, the whales linger like uninvited guests at a funeral. Robinhood, Bitget, and their ilk have quietly stashed $30 million into WLFI, whispering to the world, “This isn’t over.” Meanwhile, Binance, MEXC, and Coinbase dabbled in profit-taking, selling just enough to avoid suspicion. It’s a ballet of greed and caution, and the audience is none the wiser. 🎭

What does this mean for crypto tax services, you ask? Oh, just the usual: reduced taxpayer assistance, backlogs piling up like a bad buffet, and delays in issuing new tax guidance. Because nothing says “efficiency” like a government shutdown. 🤑💨

The union will render Polymarket directly accessible through MetaMask’s portal, allowing men to purchase and sell “shares” in the outcomes of elections, sports, and a company’s earnings-a parade of numbers that resembles a fair where truth and rumor barter under a tent of ledgers. A curious business, this betting on events as if the world’s weather could be cast in a few lines of code.

Saad Ahmed, the esteemed head of Asia Pacific, confided to CryptoMoon that Australia’s crypto penetration is “quite significant, somewhere in the range of 23 to 25%”-a figure that leaves the exchange with “headroom for growth,” as he so aptly put it. One cannot help but marvel at their ambition, though one wonders if they might not be reaching for the stars a tad too eagerly. 🌠

This Privacy Cluster, a veritable assembly of researchers, engineers, and cryptographers, is tasked with devising protocol-level privacy features, among them private payments and decentralized identity solutions. Such innovations were announced with great fanfare on a Wednesday, a day hitherto unremarkable but now immortalized in the annals of blockchain history. 📜

According to Bitwise CIO Matt Hougan (aka the Oracle of Crypto), these bad boys are having their best quarter ever. Why? Wirehouse approvals and inflation fears are turning Bitcoin into the new black. Or should I say, the new gold? 🏆✨

A few years ago, Coplan was selling his stuff in a cramped Lower East Side apartment to cover rent. Today he’s on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index. The guy went from “I’ve got a couch fort” to “I’ve got a fortune.” It’s a leap you’d call… ambitious, let’s say. 🤷‍♂️

According to a survey released on Wednesday by the crypto advocacy organization Digital Chamber, 800 souls were questioned and 64% of them said a candidate’s position on cryptocurrency was “very important” when deciding how they would vote. A fact, and perhaps a moral, that sits with the aroma of coffee in a waiting room. 😅