The whole sideways shuffle was like watching paint dry, except more thrilling because it hinted at a perfect “buy now” moment. And who wouldn’t want to grab their chance with both hands when the market is acting indecisive? ⌛
“BTC’s bull cycles have undergone parabolic advances. The violation of previous parabolas have all declined <80%. The current parabolic advance has been violated.”
Oh, those wacky North Korean hackers! They’ve traded their missiles for malware and are now hosting fake Zoom and Teams meetings that would make even Dr. Evil blush. According to the cybersecurity geniuses at Security Alliance, these cyber shenanigans rely on social engineering-basically, tricking you into trusting them because, hey, it’s your “friend” on Telegram! 🤷♂️
The appetite for risk, they say, is renewed-a feast for the bold, yet beneath the gilded surface, cracks whisper of a less sanguine tale. Is this but a fleeting waltz, or the overture to a grander opera? 🎭
He claims, with a wry smile, that the Times’ own investigative work “undermines” its own headline-like a magician revealing the tricks mid-performance but insisting, “No tricks here!” 🎩🕵️♂️
Enter Ali Martinez, the soothsayer of crypto charts, who gasps: “A TD Sequential buy signal!” But ah, there’s a catch! The price must perform a tightrope walk above $1.90-a line drawn in the sand by the gods of technical analysis. If it dares to stumble? The abyss awaits. If it holds? Martinez, with a wink and a flourish, declares $2.50 within reach. 🎩🔮
Last week, some smartypants at AMBCrypto were saying, “Hey, XMR might cuff up to $420 or even $450!” That prediction looked promising after it decided to retest support around $360. Bold moves, huh? Well, here we are, predictions coming true. Big deal. Who knows what happens next? Up or down? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe both, maybe neither.
Now, if you’ve got a shiny $10,000 burning a hole in your pocket (or perhaps just a small couch cushion), Elliot suggests that you should start with the venerable Bitcoin. Allocate around $6,000 to $7,000, he says, because, after all, Bitcoin is like the blue-chip stock of the digital realm – safe, sound, and robust as a hobgoblin’s favorite mug. 🍺
In a plot twist worthy of a Coward play, Spanish police have handcuffed five suspects in a cryptocurrency-linked kidnapping and murder, while their Danish counterparts have charged four more. How utterly continental! Meanwhile, the world gasps at the audacity of these physical attacks on the guardians of digital fortunes. International cooperation, my dears, has never looked so chic. 🌍✨
They’ve bought SO much Bitcoin, they’re basically a whale… but like, a blue whale. A 🐳 whale that could potentially displace some water. Just saying.
