Of course, just to make matters a bit juicier, Mike Novogratz’s Galaxy Digital decided to launch its own trading app. No big deal, right? Except that it came *right* after Robinhood’s app took a nap. Oh, sweet irony.
Bitmine, that brazen band of Las Vegas illuminati, fiddling with crypto and the Ethereum labyrinth, has unveiled its swollen treasury of $13.4 billion as of Oct. 5. Included therein: 2.83 million ETH, a paltry 192 bitcoin, and $456 million in cash so loose it might slip away like a fleeing miser. And don’t forget their $113 million whim on Eightco Holdings, dubbed “moonshots” with a wink that’s pure mockery. Oh, the hypocrisy! 🚀
And just when you thought the stock market was floundering like a fish out of water, $BTC breaks through to new heights, as traditional markets reel. Oh, what a deliciously perfect cocktail of institutional validation and mainstream chaos! It’s practically a recipe for the next altcoin eruption.
The Bitcoin Spot ETFs, those historic harbingers of financial alchemy, have awoken from their slumber like a bear after a long winter. Darkfost, that enigmatic oracle of CryptoQuant, proclaims their resurgence with the fervor of a street prophet. His research, as intricate as a Bulgakov novel, reveals that these ETFs are siphoning attention from the spot market like a vampire at a blood bank. 🧛♂️📈
There stood the plan-formalize the digital asset market to probe how these strange assets might slip into the country’s financial loom without breaking its old bones. A test, a mercy, a calculation in which finance ministers and clerks would observe the coin’s step by step; and in that quiet Sunday gathering, Deputy Minister Nguyen Duc Chi spoke as one might speak to a reluctant horse: patient, hopeful, and perhaps a touch weary. 🧭💸
So, Grayscale, the company that everyone’s pretending to understand, has launched something “game-changing”-the first U.S.-listed spot crypto ETFs with staking. And yes, they’re calling it a “milestone.” These ETFs? Oh, just the Grayscale Ethereum Mini Trust ETF (ticker $ETH) and the Grayscale Ethereum Trust ETF (ticker $ETHE). You’re welcome. 🙄
Ethereum (ETH), the consummate courtier, flirted with $4,600 before retreating to $4,567, a marginal dip that whispers of unspoken desires and unmet expectations. 💔 Ripple (XRP) and Dogecoin (DOGE), those mischievous scoundrels, danced above $3 and $0.257 respectively, only to stumble, leaving us to ponder their fleeting glory. 🕺 Solana (SOL), Cardano (ADA), and Chainlink (LINK) – a trio of tragic figures – each suffered declines, their stories as intertwined as the plots of a Wildean novel. 🌀
Peter Todd, that stalwart of Bitcoin’s early days, has taken to the digital pulpit to decry this madness. In a post on X, he laments the abandonment of hybrid protections, those trusty “seatbelts” that ensure both classical and quantum systems remain secure. To jettison these, he argues, is to invite disaster with a smile and a wave.
Lubin muses poetically, with the irony of a philosopher mocking his own musings: “Concepts as yet untamed prototypes, not yet unleashed upon the world.” But ah, the dream endures, a token economy forged in the fires of everyday frenzy. As he croons, “MetaMask crafts the tomorrow of personal wealth, rewarding mere breaths of usage with treasures, perks, and gossipy referrals.” 😂 How delightfully pedestrian, rewarding the mundane with cosmic tokens!
Briefly, it flirted with resistance, a mere tease, before the vultures of profit-taking descended. Investors, those fickle darlings, fled like debutantes from a rainstorm, leaving the altcoin in a most unbecoming state. How dreadfully predictable. 🕊️💸
