When Strategy dropped a cool $1 billion on 10,000 Bitcoin, the market folks expected a big jump-like a startled cat on a hot tin roof. But Bitcoin just yawned and kept its head in the sand. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist; it wasn’t a lack of demand, but more like a well-orchestrated game of hide-and-seek with the price. Enter Quinten Francois, the Sherlock Holmes of crypto, who cracked the code on why such a hefty buy left no trace on the charts. 🧠💸
BTC’s annualized 30-day implied volatility, as measured by Volmex’s BVIV index, has sunk to 49%, nearly undoing the spike from 46% to 65% over 10 days through Nov. 21. Per TradingView data, it’s as if the market whispered, “Let’s all take a deep breath and remember how to count to 10.”
On Wednesday, in a move that probably had the crypto community scrambling to update their bingo cards, the BGA unveiled their 2025 report. The findings show a dramatic shift in the industry’s expectations for success, moving away from speculative bubbles and more towards solid, Web3-native gaming fundamentals.
Mark your calendars, dear readers, for 2026, when ZKsync will bid adieu to its original Lite network, shifting its focus to newer, shinier networks built on its tech stack. A tale of progress, or perhaps a masquerade ball where the guests have all changed their masks. 🎭
On the ninth day of December, in the year 2025, Wirex proclaimed in the fair city of London a marvel most wondrous: a one-click stablecoin yield for business accounts. Through their alliance with Morpho and Gauntlet, enterprises may now reap up to 6% APR on their USD and EUR stablecoin hoards, courtesy of Gauntlet’s USDC Prime vault upon Morpho’s Base deployment. And lo, there shall be no lockup periods, nor shall liquidity be constrained! 🏰
Metaplanet’s multiple to net asset value (mNAV) has ascended to 1.17, its loftiest perch since the crypto liquidation crisis that began on Oct. 10, according to the company’s dashboard. A dashboard, mind you, that probably smells of fresh ink and desperation. 📈💨
Rep. Self, ever the optimist, claims that his amendment is intended to “fix the bill.” One wonders if he knows that bills, like the rest of politics, are rarely ever ‘fixed.’ But hope springs eternal, as they say.
First off, there’s the pricing charade, where secondary brokers dangle quotes like a mirage in the desert. “Solid-looking,” they say, but built on sand-partial data, unreliable whispers. The buyer, poor soul, strides into negotiations blind as a bat in broad daylight, clutching a “market price” that might as well be written in disappearing ink. 🕶️✨
