Remember when crypto was just for buying weird internet coins and avoiding taxes? Now it’s all about buying politicians. 🤷♀️ But here’s the twist: the crypto crowd has gone full-on Republican, because apparently “decentralized” means “centralizing power in one party.” 🤔
Chart signals suggest Dogecoin is clinging to structural support like a toddler to a security blanket. Trader Tardigrade, a name that already feels like a meme, noted the 150-day EMA aligns with $0.22. “Historically” they say, “DOGE has rebounded”-code for “hope springs eternal” or “maybe someone forgot to cash out.”
So here’s the deal: according to Lookonchain, a wallet that’s *allegedly* tied to MrBeast has been making some moves. It dropped a cool 320,587 USDT to snatch up 167,436 ASTER tokens. And just like that, this mystery wallet now holds 705,821 ASTER, which is valued at a whopping $1.28 million. Talk about playing the crypto game big, right?
Exchanges are losing $66.82 million in ADA outflows, but shorts are throwing shade with $43.5 million vs. $22.2 million in longs. It’s like a crypto soap opera-everyone’s accumulating, but nobody trusts anyone. 🤡
Amidst this grand performance of financial innovation, Ethereum has become the star of the show, its treasury reserves swelling with the glee of a court jester at Versailles. Corporate titans and crypto-native upstarts alike now hold ETH with the fervor of a lover in a Molière play. Yet, one must ask: Is this passion genuine, or merely the gasp of a pantomime?
The legislation, approved with a vote of 230 in favor and 196 against-because nothing says “we’re serious about crypto” like a majority of lawmakers agreeing to something, and a minority of them disagreeing. Who needs consensus when you can have a good debate? 🗳️🔥
The 1-hour chart for XRP is more dramatic than a season finale of *Real Housewives*. A micro-uptrend whisked the price from $2.76 to $2.90 before it slammed on the brakes and decided, “Nah, let’s just chill around $2.85-$2.87.” It’s now doing the limbo under the $2.90 bar-dip to $2.83-$2.85, and quick trades might find a sweet spot. But if it vaults above $2.90 again, we’re in for a bullish fiesta. Miss that mark, though, and it’s back to the $2.80 bargain bin. 🎢🤸♂️
So far, dollar-pegged tokens like Tether’s USDT and Circle’s USDC have been hogging the spotlight. But now the regulators, armed with pens and bureaucratic gusto, are chasing after these slippery creatures, hoping to tether them to their own currencies. Spoiler alert: it’s messy. 😅
On the fateful day of Sept. 25, as the digital winds howled, HumidiFi processed a staggering $1.92 billion in trades-a sum so grand it accounted for more than one-third of Solana’s daily volume. Today, its 24-hour trading volume stands at $557 million, a mere breath behind Meteora’s $700 million. But who’s counting? 🤔
Over the past week, you’ve shed 15% faster than I shed my New Year’s resolutions. Selling accelerated, and now you’re flirting with your September lows. Classic ARB, always keeping it dramatic! 🎭
