Bitget, the crypto platform that’s already mastered the art of dodging regulatory scrutiny like a pro, is now pivoting to become an “all-in-one trading house.” Spoiler: it’s just crypto, stocks, and gold all squished into one app. Because nothing says “financial empowerment” like forcing users to navigate a labyrinth of assets without a map. 🌀
In the quiet corners of Italy, where the vineyards meet the ancient stones, a new edict emerges-less poetic, more bureaucratic-and quite possibly more amusing. Consob, the venerable watchdog of finance, has issued a stern reminder: December 30, 2025, looms like a specter over the crypto world. An end to the ‘light’ rules that once allowed … Read more
According to a report by Reuters, the newly founded blockchain-based bank aims to facilitate instant US dollar payments around the clock, led by Scott Shay, who served as the founder and chairman of the Signature Bank. Jeffrey Wallis, the former director of digital assets at Signature, will take on the role of CEO at N3XT. 🧙♂️
For the past three years, the Metaverse has been the tech industry’s favorite ghost story. Virtual real estate went from “Look at my pixel palace!” to “CRICKEY, WHO FORGOT TO WATER THE DIGITAL PLANTS?” faster than you can say “NFT.” Millions in land value? More like millions in existential dread. Headlines declared it “dead,” but let’s be real-it was just napping. Like a cat in a sunbeam. ☀️🐱
On Dec. 3, Connecticut’s Department of Consumer Protection (DCP) Gaming Division, armed with the gravitas of a bygone era, issued cease and desist orders to said platforms. The DCP, with the precision of a well-timed quip, declared these services “unlicensed,” a term they seem to have interpreted as a suggestion. The directive? To immediately cease all operations targeting Connecticut residents-how very polite.
Seems the bigwigs are clamoring for real-time financial infrastructure like it’s the last pie at a picnic. On Dec. 4, 2025, Ripple-ever the show-off-announced it’s expanding its empire to manage and move value across traditional and onchain environments. Because why stop at one pie when you can hog the whole buffet? 🥧🤑
It’s as if the market is playing an elaborate game of musical chairs, with everyone betting on the same tune. All three heroes flashed a bullish engulfing candle, a sign so clear even a candle snuffer could spot it-buyers are circling back with the grace of a ballet troupe at a Quarterly Review. Who knew the market had a flair for the dramatic? 🤡
On its opening night, the product managed a modest $13 million in trading volume-a far cry from the dazzling $56 million of Solana [SOL] or the $33 million of Ripple [XRP]. 🌟 But fear not, for Grayscale’s Chainlink [LINK] ETF still raked in $42 million in inflows, prompting Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas to declare it “another insta-hit.” One can almost hear the applause… or is it the sound of bubbles bursting? 🎈✨
This product, delayed like a reluctant guest in September, claims to be the first of its kind tied to the Sui network. Twice the daily performance, they promise-a siren’s call to the daring and the deluded. Ah, the allure of leverage! 🤑
Yep, you heard it right. Schiff’s T-Gold.com lets folks buy physical gold and silver, stashed away in fancy vaults, and then swap it for blockchain tokens. He’s singing the praises of tokenization, claiming it makes gold “more transportable, more divisible, more fungible”-basically, all spruced up like a Sunday best. 🧐