Ethereum, alas, has fallen from its lofty perch, dropping below four thousand pieces of silver (or dollars, as the common folk call them). A lamentable 14% decline, you say! Yet, fear not, for our whales perceive this not as ruin, but as an opportunity! A chance to sate their appetites! More than 406,000 ETH – a sum exceeding 1.6 billion – has been scooped up by these discerning investors in recent days. Truly, a gluttonous display!.
Ah, a week that ETF investors would love to erase from their minds. Bitcoin and ether funds closed the week of September 26, 2025, staring into the abyss of financial despair. Bitcoin ETFs bled out a monstrous $418.25 million – a loss so large it could fund a small country’s desire for luxury yachts.
Strive Asset Management (ASST) has acquired Semler Scientific (SMLR) in an all-stock deal. It’s not exactly a fairy tale; more like a corporate version of a garage sale where the lemon of a company is traded for a bouquet of Bitcoin stickers. While this merger is historic-two Digital Asset Treasuries (DATs) joining forces-it also shines a spotlight on what some investors might call a sketchy art project called valuing crypto treasuries.
Remember when ETH flexed its muscles above $3,876 and cozied up to $4,200? Good times. 😢 Since then, it’s been stuck in consolidation purgatory. Bulls tried to keep it chic between $4,750 and $4,270, but those pesky bears dragged it down to $4,000. 😾 Market vibes? Neutral to bearish-basically, traders are eyeing that liquidity like it’s the last pair of shoes on sale. 👠 Is ETH heading to the ‘buy zone’? Or is it just flirting with disaster? 🤷♀️
A fresh wave of Solana ETF amendments has entered the spotlight, as if the SEC’s inbox needed more chaos. Franklin, Fidelity, CoinShares, Bitwise, Grayscale, VanEck, and Canary-names that once whispered like incantations in finance-filed updated S-1 forms. These amendments include staking provisions, a nod to Solana’s proof-of-stake mechanism, as though blockchain’s alchemy of yield could be bottled and sold to the masses. ETF Store CEO Nate Geraci, with the optimism of a man who’s never met a bear market, claims approvals might arrive within two weeks. The revisions? A testament to institutional greed and the SEC’s newfound love for buzzwords like “innovation.”
Speaking of Bitcoin (BTC) and Ethereum (ETH), they’re trailing behind like kids on a school trip, with gains of 167% and 76% respectively in 2025. Sorry, guys, but XRP just grabbed the mic and isn’t giving it back. 🎤✨
Behold the mystery: Spot Netflow hit -$5.37 million (that’s the “uh-oh” moment), while Futures inflows jumped a startling $17.79 million, hinting at the whales’ ever-growing appetite for WLFI and traders anticipating a push toward $0.24. Tension is building. Who will come out on top? 🎭
“Red September” has been as brutal as a giant peach rolling down a hill, squishing all the poor bulls in its path. Ethereum took the biggest wallop, nose-diving 12% and tumbling below its precious $4,000 support like a golden ticket lost in a chocolate factory. 🍫💔 Bitcoin, not one to be left out, lost about 5%, skulking back to nearly $109,000, while Dogecoin and Solana each took a 21% nosedive. In total, a staggering $300 billion vanished into thin air, proving once again that excessive leverage is about as sensible as a fox guarding a henhouse. 🐔🦊
Nate Geraci, the grand poobah of The ETF Store, reckons the SEC might just give the nod within the next fortnight. 🗓️ Yes, you heard that right-fortnight, a word so fancy it makes you want to wear a top hat and monocle. 🎩 According to Nate, the SEC’s recent warm fuzzies toward Solana staking ETFs have them feeling all sorts of generous. Could this be the moment crypto ETF markets finally stop dithering and start delivering? 🌟
AlphaTON Capital Corp (Nasdaq: ATON), a treasury custodian for the Telegram Open Network, has announced the closing of seventy-one million in financing and the completion of its first token accumulation, a small flame in a weathered ledger. announced.