Crypto News

Stablecoins, those darling digital chameleons of the blockchain ballroom, waltzed into 2025 with volumes so staggering they’d make a Wall Street tycoon blush. TRM Labs, ever the observant butler, notes that most of this glittering chaos remains firmly parked in the realm of the legal-a snooze-worthy parade of payments and settlements, darling. But ah! The illicit bits? They’re the usual suspects: a coterie of high-risk networks sipping champagne in the corner, convinced they’re the life of the party.

Ah, the illustrious $TRUMP and $MELANIA tokens, once soaring like eagles, now tumbling downwards, drawing the ire and lament of those who dared to dream too high. The tragedy of the commons unfolds as many retail traders recount tales of woe and heavy losses.

Ah, Coinbase, the U.S.-based crypto exchange that’s as reliable as a wizard’s promise-sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes it just leaves you scratching your head. On Friday, the platform reported technical issues causing delays in sending and receiving SOL and SPL tokens on the Solana network. Because, of course, why have a smooth transaction when you can have a thrilling wait?

The U.S. Supreme Court just served up a hefty slice of reality pie to President Trump’s tariff dreams, ruling 6-3 that his administration might have overcooked those tariffs using the International Emergency Economic Powers Act. Surprise!

Hov’s latest analysis, scribbled on the back of what appears to be a napkin from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, reveals a history of sharp declines and recoveries marked by Elliott Wave labels dating back to 2018. Think of it as a financial rollercoaster designed by a committee of cats. The question now is whether XRP is gearing up for a bullish continuation or simply preparing to faceplant into the void of further downside. Spoiler alert: no one knows, but we’re all here for the ride.

Another day, another financial bloodbath for Bitcoin funds. On Thursday, February 19, Bitcoin ETFs reported net outflows of $165.76 million. Clearly, investors are not just taking their chips off the table; they’re throwing the whole table out the window.

With an air of bravado, Garlinghouse pointed out the shifting tides in Washington, suggesting that prediction markets were finally feeling optimistic. “The CLARITY Act spiked because of comments yesterday from a senator,” he mused, with the confidence of a fortune teller predicting riches. “I think now 90% will pass by the end of April.” Can we get a round of applause for such certainty?

Enforcement provisions would slap civil penalties of $500,000 per violation, a sum large enough to make a small planet blink. The aim is to stop firms from conjuring up yield farming on stablecoin balances, which is a bit like discovering someone has been charging tolls on a moon you didn’t know you owned.

The document, a mere whisper of a Senate discussion draft, dares to outline a framework for regulating digital commodities, all under the watchful eye of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission. It’s early days, but the direction is as clear as a Missouri river on a sunny afternoon-federal agencies are set to dictate who rules the crypto roost and how stablecoins may prance.

Stuart Alderoty, Ripple’s chief legal officer (and presumably their designated comma warrior), announced that the CLARITY Act discussions have entered the “specific language” phase. This is Washington-speak for “We’re finally getting to the part where we argue about whether ‘digital asset’ should be hyphenated.”