The Hilariously Unstable Dogwifhat: Is It Ready for a Bounce or Just Playing Dead?

According to Ai4Alpha’s latest analysis on X (because who wouldn’t trust X for investment advice these days?), Dogwifhat has slipped beneath the $0.80 support level-a key price point it used to flaunt like a well-cut suit. Naturally, this led to a sharp decline in price, and the Relative Strength Index (RSI) is now limping along at 25.95. For those who care, that means it’s in oversold territory-basically, the digital equivalent of a limp handshake. 🫣

Tether’s Billion-Dollar Grab: Is the Crypto World Just a Big Game of Monopoly? 🚀💸

They plan to sell a mere 3% of their stake, as if that’s just a polite gesture at a soirée, yet even the finest plans are as fragile as a house of cards in a hurricane. Rumors swirl, deals flutter like moths-nothing is settled until everything is, or so we hope. The venerable Bloomberg whispers that Cantor Fitzgerald, that venerable beast of finance, is whispering advice into the ears of the would-be tycoons.

🤑 Crypto ATM Scams: Will Senators Save Grandma’s Fortune? 🕵️‍♂️

In a Monday X post (yes, X, because why not?), Wyoming’s very own Senator Cynthia Lummis, along with her partner in crime, New York’s Kirsten Gillibrand, declared they’re on a mission to tackle the “scam-o-rama” happening at Bitcoin ATMs. 🦸‍♀️💥 Lummis pointed to a report where the Cheyenne police department uncovered 50 instances of fraud-mostly targeting seniors-totaling a whopping $645,000. Grandma’s cookie jar money, gone! 🍪🚫

OranjeBTC’s Bitcoin Bet: Can This ‘Shady’ Listing Conquer Brazil? 😏

Bitcoin-focused Latin American company OranjeBTC is set to go public on Brazil’s B3 exchange in early October with more than $400 million in BTC reserves, making it Brazil’s largest publicly-traded bitcoin treasury firm. Because nothing says “financial stability” like a company that’s basically a digital piggy bank with a stock ticker.

Morgan Stanley Joins the Crypto Craze: Finally, a Spot to Buy Bitcoin!

According to Bloomberg (which I guess we should trust?), this move is their big entrance into the retail brokerage game. Think Robinhood, but, you know, with fewer meme coins and a touch more class. E*Trade clients will now be able to trade Bitcoin (BTC), Ether (ETH), and Solana (SOL), so get ready to dust off your wallets-or not, depending on how “crypto-savvy” you are. 🙃

Bitcoin’s Desert Gambit: $100M Credit Line Fuels HPC Expansion

The Las Vegas-based miner, Cleanspark (Nasdaq: CLSK), said the non-dilutive financing will be deployed across strategic capital expenditures, including enlarging its energy portfolio, scaling bitcoin mining operations, and investing in high-performance computing (HPC) capabilities. 🧠🚀

Bitcoin Bounces Back: $1.7B Wipeout Turns Crypto Dramedy into Comeback

Well, dash me baker’s dozen! Turns out, even in the wild and woolly crypto town, a $1.7 billion liquidation spree – which is more dramatic than a midday soap opera – couldn’t keep the market down for long. Monday morning saw altcoins tumble like dominoes at a particularly rowdy garden party, and the Altcoin Season Index took a nosedive from almost 100 to a modest 65, like a politician’s promising poll numbers. Yet, bitcoin held steadfast – like a vintage Oxford blazer – above the $112K mark, while ether played it cool near $4,200, suggesting we might be seeing the markets getting their act together again. bitcoin and ether, the duo that refuses to throw in the towel, perched patiently as flickering beacons of hope. 🚀

Morgan Stanley Finally Joins the Crypto Party 🎉🤑

Jed Finn, Morgan Stanley’s head of wealth management, told Bloomberg this is just phase one of their crypto master plan, which will eventually include a full wallet solution. Because nothing says “innovation” like catching up to 2015. 🌟