Crypto News

SHIB has been a trooper, climbing from $0.00001287 to $0.00001312-a 2% rise! That’s like a flea jumping over a skyscraper in the crypto world. 🪰🏢

By September 2025, a handful of these digital ringmasters will still be standin’ tall, not just in tradin’ volume but in how they juggle security, regulation, and the whole shebang. Below, we’ve rounded up 11 of these crypto colossi, each with its own quirks and charms. Let’s dive in, shall we? 🌊

This canine-inspired financial instrument will prance under the Investment Company Act of 1940, a framework so different from the Securities Act of 1933 that it’s like comparing a poodle to a pitbull. And yet, here we are, barking up the first Dogecoin ETF tree in the U.S. 🌳🐕

Thursday saw the grand entrance of the Rex-Osprey Dogecoin ETF (DOJE) on America’s financial stage. Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas dryly noted it might be the first ETF to contain “something without intentional use.” Translation: millions of people love a coin that’s mainly good for memes and, now, portfolio diversification for the spiritually adventurous.

Axel Bitblaze, the so-called “whisperer” of the crypto world, is practically singing praises about ENA. It’s not just a story, folks, it’s a tale backed by real numbers, hard fundamentals, and – hold your horses – structured buyback programs that could send ENA prices sky-high. Can you smell that? It’s the sweet scent of profits in the making. 🍀

Brace yourselves, for the tragic saga of SHIB continues: a noble decline of 1.17% over the last 24 hours. Oh, how quickly the mighty fall…and we, the humble spectators, are left in awe. Is it just the market, or has SHIB lost its way? 💀

Ah, Bitcoin, the eternal jester of the financial world, trades at $113,500 as I scribble these words. A liquidation map, shared by the enigmatic TheKingfisher, reveals a cluster of shorts near $112,630-a veritable minefield awaiting the next foolhardy step. 🧨

Ah, the XRP Ledger-dreamed up to serve as the chariot for rapid, low-cost cross-border transactions gliding over vast distances. For what seemed an eternity, Ripple boldly proclaimed this as its shining beacon, its pièce de résistance against the lackluster capabilities of other blockchains. However, as the marionette of transaction volumes begins to disentangle, it appears that the aspirations of real-world adoption may have lagged woefully behind the company’s lofty visions. 🎭

Folks are sweating bullets because if SOMI keeps up this pratfall, it might just sidle under the $1.00 mark faster than you can say, “It’s good to be the king!”

A certain crypto dilettante, with a penchant for brevity, shared a précis of CZ’s odyssey from rags to riches, prompting our protagonist to emerge from his digital lair. 🕵️♂️