Crypto News

Ce geste introduit par l’audace de notre gouvernance, frappe non moins que ce fier superstition ou délit, et vise à faire exécuter neuf entités birmanes, alors que dix de nationalité cambodgienne, sans éviter de mettre dans la lumière deux formations chinoises. Ces institutions pestilentielles, selon les murmures et accusations dévoilées, assurent l’organisation de ces sinistres cabines de fraude, et ont consommé la fortune et le bonheur de plus d’une dizaine de milliards appartenant aux appelés Américains, en l’année fatidique de 2024. 🎯

Ah, the 3-day chart! That canvas of capricious fortunes has bestowed upon PENGU a new buy signal, courtesy of the TD Sequential indicator. Ali Martinez, that crypto sphinx, has declared it so with a “9” candle-a harbinger of the downtrend’s demise. Sellers, it seems, are losing their grip, like a glove at a tea party. 🧤

ARK Invest, with a flick of its financial tail, snapped up 101,950 shares of BitMine Immersion Technologies (BMNR) on Monday. 🦄 These shares were sprinkled across three magical funds: The Ark Innovation ETF (now holding a tidy 2.6% of BitMine), the Ark Next Generation Internet ETF, and the ARK Fintech Innovation ETF. Together, they’ve hoarded 6.7 million BitMine shares worth a cool $284 million. 🧙‍♂️💼

In an “open letter”-a phrase that always promises more melodrama than a Chekhovian drawing room-Leonidas declared that if Bitcoin Core dares to tighten its relay policy, he will bankroll a fork so pure, so unburdened by “policy rules,” that it will make the blockchain weep with joy. Or perhaps boredom. “Thousands will run it,” he proclaimed, with the confidence of a man who has clearly never met a thousand people willing to agree on anything. 🤷‍♂️

The second luminary of the crypto heavens, Ethereum, finds itself entangled in what one might call a peculiar and somewhat alarming development-a descent into volatility so profound that it borders on nonexistence. With ETH languishing stubbornly around the $4,295 mark after weeks of insipid activity, price fluctuations have all but evaporated. Such torpor is hardly conducive to a market fueled by momentum, is it not?

Sure, they *might* still sell NFTs in their “21st Century Art” category, but let’s be honest-that’s like saying you’ll still eat Brussels sprouts. Unlikely. 😏

Apparently, some analysts on X (yeah, that’s what they call Twitter now, don’t ask) like @TehLamboXcharts and @ali_charts are saying ENA’s got a bull flag breakout. 🚩 Big deal. It’s approaching $0.77, which is, you know, a critical support and resistance level. Whatever that means. Warrior Trading (2023) says bull flags usually mean 20-50% gains in bullish markets. Or maybe it’s just a fluke. Who’s keeping track? 🤔

The whispers of Tether’s Bitcoin sell-offs began to murmur through the financial forests after quarterly reports revealed a slight decline in its Bitcoin reserves. Yet, both Ardoino and the ever-eloquent Samson Mow, CEO of Jan3, have kindly reminded us that no such sales occurred. On the contrary, Tether’s affection for Bitcoin grows stronger with each passing day, much like the bond between an old oak and its roots. 🌳💔

On-chain data reveals something peculiar: dip-buying, that noble act of purchasing coins when they’re cheap, is alive and well. Glassnode’s HODL waves show that the 1-2 year holding cohort has grown from 21.65% to 23.24% in just a month. Yes, dear reader, long-term holders are clinging to their Dogecoins like a child to their favorite blanket. What faith! What conviction! Or perhaps, what sheer inability to admit defeat?

The company, in their usual optimistic tone, insists that this theft is confined to the particular service affected, although it must be said that the loss represents a rather substantial chunk of their Solana holdings. Nonetheless, in a move that will surely reassure their customers, SwissBorg has pledged to attempt a partial refund of the stolen assets, even if those funds cannot be fully recovered.