Crypto News

the 10-year U.S. Treasury yield was sittin’ at 4.19% and the 30-year yield at 4.78%, like they were too weary to climb any higher.

Behold, the SHIB-linked account hath unveiled its sacred scroll-a list so holy it rivals Nabokov’s own musings on butterflies. There are eight functions, each more tantalizing than the last. Allow me to summarize with the flair of a novelist:

On a Wednesday as ordinary as a Moscow tram, the CFTC’s Division of Market Oversight and its cousin, the Division of Clearing and Risk, deigned to grant Polymarket a reprieve. No more shall QCX LLC or QC Clearing LLC tremble under the shadow of enforcement! 🦸‍♂️ The regulator, in a rare moment of levity, has allowed our hero to resume its American odyssey, event contracts in tow. A triumph, you say? Perhaps. But remember, in the land of compliance, every victory is a temporary armistice. 🕊️

In an attempt to establish its reign over the crypto dominion, Gemini has unleashed its newest XRP card, causing a fleeting moment of triumph as it eclipsed its biggest rival, Coinbase-at least on the hallowed grounds of Apple’s App Store.

The news burst like thunder-Hoskinson, with a tone that dared to say, “Told ya so!” announced the release of the transparency report, crafted by accounting wizards BDO and law knights McDermott Will & Emery, on September 3. The community, perhaps rubbing their eyes in disbelief, learned that 99.2% of ADA vouchers were redeemed-over 14,282 vouchers, amounting to a staggering 25.85 billion ADA coins. Yes, folks, billions! Enough to make a banker cry and a conspiracy theorist choke on his tissue.

Now, picture Bitcoin-our beloved digital gold-trying to keep up in this modern hustle. It’s like trying to run a marathon in clown shoes. Seven transactions per second? That’s painfully slow. You’d have a better chance waiting for Taylor Swift ticket sales than expecting Bitcoin to handle the traffic. 🎟️💥

Here’s insight into HTX’s strategy.

On a day marked by the sun’s descent into the horizon, Mr. Jonny Litecoin took to the social platform known as X, a place where gentlemen of lesser means often seek to make their voices heard, and declared that the XRP, a currency dear to the hearts of many, lacked the intrinsic value of the noble Litecoin. He argued, with a flourish of rhetoric that would have made Cicero proud, that XRP was conjured from the very ether itself, a mere figment of code, unlike the sturdy Litecoin, which is forged through the sweat and toil of computational effort and energy, a process known to the learned as Proof-of-Work (PoW).

Rewind to 2021: Mantle Network strutted onto the stage as Ethereum’s layer-2 scaling solution, proudly waving the flag of BitDAO. Yes, the first L2 network born from a decentralized autonomous organization-fancy talk for a robot running a democracy… kinda.

Now everyone’s losing their minds asking: “Is Bitcoin about to get owned by quantum hackers overnight?” Spoiler-it’s more like “not today, maybe never.”