Zschach, ever the philosopher of finance, insists that “neutral, shared governance” is the true mark of strength. One might ask: what is this “neutral governance” if not a fancy way of saying “no one’s in charge, but everyone’s in on it”? 🤷♂️
Once, in the golden days of August, SUI soared to $3.90-a fleeting ecstasy. Now? It languishes between $3.18 and $3.28, a pitiful spectacle. The $3.20 support-oh, how it has suffered!-bears the weight of desperate traders, their souls mortgaged to volatility.
The month’s curtain rose with Bitcoin sprawled face-first beneath the so-called critical support, and the audience-such as it is-responded with a shrug worthy of existential French cinema. Evidently, most investors still slumber through calamity, orbital snooze buttons set for ‘apocalypse.’
The Foundation (a rather grand name, if you ask me) announced this Monday. Holešky will be given the heave-ho just two weeks after they finish fiddling about with something called the Fusaka upgrade – sometime in September, if they can get their act together.
On Monday, Bloomberg, the news outlet that brings you the latest in finance with a side of existential dread, reported that Tesla stock has lost its luster among South Korea’s retail investors. These savvy traders have been offloading Tesla shares like hot potatoes in favor of something a bit more… sparkly.
According to the holy scrolls of RWA.xyz, as chronicled by the apostles of SolanaFloor, the value of RWAs on Solana soared to $500.10 million, a 2.09% ascent that would make even the most stoic economist blush. Ten percent net inflows in a month? Why, it’s as if the very earth itself conspired to bless Solana’s ledger! And yet, the faithful RWA holders multiplied: 5.27% more wallets, 92 assets listed-a modest harvest, but a harvest nonetheless. 🌾
Rumor has it, China’s giant bank might unleash its own stablecoin-probably competing with the digital yuan and giving Beijing a run for its digital money. Think of it as the digital gold rush-minus the pickaxes, but with a lot more zeros! 💹
Analysts, including the ever-eloquent The Diplomat, suggest Japan’s yen tokens are a sly wink at the dollar’s dominance in global trade. 🌍 Meanwhile, BeInCrypto reports that Asia’s financial hubs are in a stablecoin arms race, each vying to be the next crypto samurai. 🏮
Its meteoric rise… well, if we call a 2.3% gain in seven days “meteoric,” certainly bears teeth are sharper than the poet’s wit tonight. And even those frail gains now threaten to crumble like a stale pirozhok, as our dear token eyes new lows with the zeal of a nihilist at a funeral.
Within 24 hours, Ethena [ENA] plummeted 7.75%, wiping out nearly half its 30-day 15% gains. Smart Money, however, quietly built its fortress, whispering secrets of a deeper tale behind ENA’s latest chaos. 🧙♂️📉
