Crypto News

Imagine, if you will, a modest token, born in the unassuming month of September past, suddenly ascending to dizzying heights. A staggering 2,000% increase in mere weeks! One can scarcely fathom such audacity. Presently, it commands a price of $83, a figure that would have been laughed out of the room but a month ago. Its market capitalization, once a mere whisper, now stands at a formidable $1.6 billion, leaving well-established altcoins in its wake.

This investment is basically a high-yield Bitcoin proxy. Think of it as the bank’s way of saying, “We want to dabble in crypto, but without actually getting our hands dirty.” It’s like wanting to swim but only sticking your toes in the kiddie pool-very safe and very boring.

ARK Invest, the asset management firm led by Cathie Wood, has filed with U.S. regulators to launch two new cryptocurrency exchange-traded funds (ETFs) that would track the CoinDesk 20 – a beacon, to some, of the most liquid digital assets, including bitcoin, ether, solana, XRP and cardano.

Meanwhile, in the grand old world of crypto, ETFs (those fancy money buckets) are showing signs of a mass exodus. Investors, probably clutching their lucky charms, are dashing away in a panic as the market turns grumpy.

The world’s largest asset manager-yes, the one with the staggering $12.5 trillion in assets-has filed a Form S-1 with the SEC to list the iShares Bitcoin Premium Income ETF. How very ambitious! They plan to manage Bitcoin exposure, either directly or through IBIT, while selling call options to generate income. A covered-call strategy, they call it. How quaint.

Authorities, in their infinite wisdom, chose to prioritize cozy homes and critical infrastructure-probably because nobody wants their toaster to stop working just because some miners wanted to flex their computational muscles. So, in a dramatic act of self-preservation, Bitcoin miners participating in demand-response programs pulled the plug temporarily. Who knew mining was so sensitive to Mother Nature’s mood swings?

BitMine Immersion Technologies (BMNR), the steward of the second brightest flame in the digital realm, ether, made its year’s largest ETH purchase last week after a shareholder vote opened fresh corridors to raise capital.

“We see the rise of cost-basis return cycles…bitcoin…pulls back to its cost basis and then rebounds by around 70%. With bitcoin now trading near its $87,000 cost basis, that pattern points to a move north of $140,000 in the next 180 days.”

In the grand theater of cryptocurrency, this crash echoes the general malaise of the market itself, collapsing like a poorly constructed house of cards, each coin tumbling into the abyss.

Image placeholder: dollar graph goes down with dramatic flair