“To sell is to embrace the bear with open arms,” declared Bitcoin analyst PlanC on the illustrious Mr. M Podcast, where wisdom flows as freely as cheap champagne. “And what does one do after selling? Why, take to social media, of course-where every doomsayer becomes a prophet, and every tweet a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
November, that most splendid month, of joy and revelry, has always been a good fortune for bitcoin. Historical data from Coinglass presents an assuring image, showing that our digital protagonist has bestowed positive monthly returns 66% of the time between 2013 and 2024-an era we naively considered marked by rational behavior! Yet, alas, this November has so cunningly chosen to deviate from tradition. BTC finds itself down a tragic 6.72%, ensnared by the dual forces of bad luck and the insatiable greed of its supporters-those who dream of riches while feasting on hopes of unattainable heights.
The whale isn’t just dipping its toes in; it’s making a splash with $43 million leveraged long after Ethereum took a 17% dive this week, causing many others to flee like they’re running from a bad breakup.
This, naturally, has set the crypto community ablaze with debates over the ever-delicate balance between privacy and crime. Spoiler alert: nobody can seem to agree.
Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round! A sneaky imposter app, masquerading as the illustrious Hyperliquid, has been caught red-handed on the Google Play Store. This digital doppelgänger is more dangerous than a hungry lion at a vegan buffet! It mimics the real app’s design so well, it’d fool your grandma-and we all know she’s sharper than a tack! Once you hand over your wallet details, these scammers go on a shopping spree with your crypto. Poof! Your funds vanish faster than a Brooks film at a serious film festival!
In the realm of Bitcoin, the price clings stubbornly to the $100,000 threshold, as though tethered by the ghost of greed itself. Yet, the specter of collapse lingers, waiting for the price to breach $108,000-a test of the market’s fleeting resolve.
In an X post that could double as a modern-day runescription, Brett declared that if Bitcoin starts closing weekly candles below the 50W MA (Moving Average, for those who’ve never tried to track a dragon’s tail), the odds of this being the “top” increase. Notably, Brett previously predicted October’s peak-like a soothsayer who just got lucky and then leaned into it. After rallying to a new all-time high of $126,000 last month, BTC has since been on a decline, much like the morale of a samurai after discovering his sword is made of cheese.
So, BNB took a little dip, huh? Down to $933 after almost hitting $974. Big deal. Crypto markets are stressed? Join the club. I’m stressed every time I have to talk to my neighbor about his lawn gnomes. 🧙♂️🤦♂️
At $2.15, XRP stumbles, a shadow of its former self. The Binance chart weeps-RSI at 35, MACD below zero. Buyers, it seems, have fled to greener pastures, leaving sellers to waltz in the void. One might ask, “Where are the bullish knights when the dragon of doubt descends?” Alas, the answer lies in the MACD’s crimson sighs. 📉
