Crypto News

Imagine a chart that’s basically a messy doodle-February 2024, SHIB takes a tiny rocket ride, then promptly collapses faster than your self-esteem after a bad date. And that’s just the warm-up. A brief, three-month fling in late 2024 pushed it above 0.000035 USDT-spiffy, right?-but then the cruel mistress of market correction came along and wiped out almost every bit of that joy. Because who needs gains when you can have heartbreak?

In a twist of fate most peculiar, Binance hath birthed a QR payment system so divine, it maketh the very pesos blush with envy. Imagine, if you will, a peasant scanning a mere code with their Binance Pay app, and presto! Their crypto assets transform into a merchant’s delight, sans fees or fuss. 🧙♂️✨

Summary

Bitcoin is currently hovering around $109,200, after bouncing off support at $108,000 and hitting its head on the $112,000-$114,000 ceiling. This isn’t just any old price range-it’s where the 100-day and 200-day moving averages live, those technical levels that traders treat like gospel. If Bitcoin breaks above them, it’s like a rocket ship fueled by forced short liquidations, potentially blasting toward $115,000-$118,000. 🚀

Crypto futures tied to Solana and XRP on CME hit a milestone on Monday, surpassing $3B in open interest. Or, as I like to call it, “enough to buy a small island or a really nice yacht.” 🛥️

In a magnificent X post, Guillemot claims Cardano’s Midnight will be safe from quantum computers. Because nothing says “security” like a system that’s “unified” and “proofy.” 🧠💥 (Translation: We’ll figure it out later.)

ZEC’s October carnival ride: 500% gains, short sellers crying “boo!”

The stock recently fell 4.87%, though it still gained ~10% over the past month amid high trading activity. A rollercoaster of investor sentiment, or perhaps a well-rehearsed act of financial theatre. 🎭📉

This follows a week of surprisingly not-disastrous altcoin ETF launches. Solana, Litecoin, and Hedera all got their shiny new ETFs, proving the SEC’s vibe shift is real. Or maybe they’re just tired of saying “no.” 💸

Forget technicals. Forget macro conditions. The real drama is psychological. Bitcoin is now a victim of market flows and positioning, where price is dictated more by emotional impulses than any logical reason. Welcome to the madhouse, where sanity is optional.