Crypto News

Our intrepid analysts have noted that this swell of movement peaked on the illustrious day of July 18, coincidentally when SHIB’s price flirted with the all-time high of $0.000015—an auspicious day for speculators and daydreamers alike. Generally, it’s the high-net-worth holders or those institutional behemoths who orchestrate such grand transactions, a precursor to whatever volatility might follow. The current atmosphere is fraught with both optimism and the thrill of impending calamity, determined largely by the collective mood of the market goons.

Last week, altcoins were having a field day, with their market cap hitting $1.45 trillion. PlanD dropped some wisdom on X, saying there are three big signs that altseason is here. Spoiler alert: it involves Bitcoin and Ethereum taking a little nap. 😌

And the correction! Inevitable, naturally. As if the universe itself demands balance, a humbling reminder that even the most audacious dreams crumble under the weight of their own ambition. Slipping below $116,000… a minor tremor, some would say. But to a soul attuned to the whispers of despair, it sounded like the death knell of utopian illusions. A paltry recovery, a desperate clinging to the remnants of former glory. Even a tentative challenge to $120,000 proved… futile. 🤦‍♂️ A rather pathetic spectacle, wouldn’t you agree?

The pre-IPO shares… ah, yes, those elusive trinkets traded OTC, fetching a valuation of roughly $20 billion. Some fools dream of a tenfold increase upon the IPO! 💸 But Mr. VirtualBacon, with a weary sigh, cautions against such infantile optimism. A fixed connection? Between Ripple’s stock and XRP’s spectral value? Preposterous! As if markets operate with logic! The gentry, you see, the serious investors, will likely favor the solid comfort of stock over the volatile tremors of a token. They prefer the tangible, the controllable… unlike the maddening chaos of XRP. The shares currently command a price of around $100, accessible only to those with pockets as deep as despair. So, the IPO brings attention, yes, but a sustained pump? A fantasy for the masses. 🤷‍♂️

Is this a sign of a burgeoning crypto renaissance? Are the masses finally embracing the decentralized dream? Or is it just a temporary blip, a fleeting moment of madness before the inevitable crash? Only time, that fickle mistress, will tell.

On July 19th, World Liberty Financial took to X (formerly known as Twitter, for those of you who haven’t heard) to declare that no tokens belonging to the team, advisors, or co-founders will be unlocked when the project launches. They’re all about fairness, apparently. They even quoted themselves, just to make sure we get the message:

“We wish to communicate our profound receptiveness to avant-garde inventions,” the former Mayor of Zug, Dolfi Müller, proclaimed with an admirable enthusiasm. This spirited proclamation served as a beacon, attracting an influx of crypto enthusiasts to the region, like moths to a luminous flame. 🌟

Imagine, if you will, a world where money grows on digital trees and doctors prescribe blockchain pills. Well, according to Robinhood’s CEO Vlad Tenev, that’s not just a whimsical dream—it’s the future, old sport! On July 18, he popped up on CNBC, grinning like a Cheshire Cat with a pocketful of bitcoins, to declare the GENIUS Act the most splendid thing since sliced bread. 🍞💡

XLM has been subjected to violent volatility over the last 24 hours, suggesting that the price may continue to descend into the abyss in the near future. Oh, the torment! 😱

Earlier this year, Solana [SOL] was labeled a fading asset. But now, the numbers tell a different story—like a phoenix that’s 100% sure it’s a flamingo. 🦜