Bitcoin Collapses as AI Steals Miners’ Electricity 🤯

The Bitcoin network, once proud and buzzing like a summer beehive, now limps along at approximately 993 EH/s. A mere number, yes, but one that speaks volumes-like a man counting his remaining hair in the mirror. This is the lowest the network has felt since last autumn, and frankly, it shows.

Crypto Crash: $100B Vanishes as Alts Bleed 🩸 – Market in Chaos! 😱

The altcoins, those lesser deities in this pantheon of speculation, have fared even worse. Ethereum, the silver to Bitcoin’s gold, now clings desperately to $3,200, while XRP has plunged below $2.00, its wounds gaping and raw. Yet, in this sea of red, XMR and ICP stand as defiant anomalies, their gains a mocking reminder of the capriciousness of fate. 🎭📉

MANA’s Rollercoaster: Will It Hit 20¢?

For ten days they wrestled over that fifteen-cent line like overripe fruit. Then, Saturday, the bulls, bless their optimistic hearts, just… pushed through. A clean break, they called it. More like a lucky shove, if you ask me.

Upbit’s Crypto Kingdom: 70% Liquidity or Just KRW Magic? 🤔

Kaiko Research, with all their fancy charts and graphs, decided to take a peek under the hood of Korean crypto liquidity. Spoiler: It’s not just about who’s shouting the loudest on the trading floor. Real liquidity, they say, is about pulling off a big trade without making the market throw a tantrum. Simple? No. But hey, nothing worth doing ever was. 😅

Bitcoin ETFs Surge: Can You Believe the Numbers? 🤯💰

Ah, IBIT, the crown jewel of BlackRock, proudly led the pack with a princely sum of $1.035 billion in allocations. It dominated the scene like a czar surveying his empire, accounting for 73% of total weekly inflows across all Bitcoin ETF products. Truly, a masterstroke!