Bitcoin’s 52-Month Snooze Fest: Schiff Says It’s Worse Than a Mel Brooks Marathon!

Schiff points out that Bitcoin hit $69,000 back in November 2021, and now, in March 2026, it’s trading below $67,000. That’s longer than it takes to binge-watch every Mel Brooks movie-twice! He calls this an “anti-record,” which is just a fancy way of saying Bitcoin’s been napping harder than a hibernating bear. And all this while the crypto world was screaming “mass adoption!” Schiff’s like, “Yeah, sure, adopt this-a four-year-old price tag!”

Ethereum’s Plight: A Tale of Woe and Waning Wallets

On the one-hour Binance chart from TradingView, Ethereum commenced the March 24 session at a modest $2,160, only to ascend to a fleeting high of $2,190 by midday on March 25. Alas, a precipitous decline ensued, as if the poor dear had tripped on her own hem. Through March 26, it tumbled past $2,100, $2,080, and $2,060, before a brief respite.

You Won’t Believe How Much Money They’re Pouring Into Prediction Markets!

This comes right on the heels of Kalshi, their competitor, raking in a cool billion. A billion! It’s like a game of who can throw money around faster-like we’re all at some high-stakes poker table where the chips are actual dollars. And guess what? Kalshi is now valued at $22 billion. I can’t even wrap my head around that. What do they do, sell magic beans?

How 200 Million Was Lost in a Day: The James Wynn & Machi Big Brother Liquidation Craze!

The world of decentralized, high-stakes trading is full of dramatic stories, and the cases of James Wynn and Machi Big Brother are particularly captivating. Both traders have become public figures on Hyperliquid, a platform known for its risky, high-leverage trades, turning their every move – and often, their losses – into a public display thanks to the platform’s transparent, on-chain data.

BitGo’s Revenue Soars Like a Rocket, But Profits Crash Like a Soggy Biscuit!

Enter BitGo Holdings (NYSE: BTGO), the crypto infrastructure company that decided it was time to debut on the New York Stock Exchange on January 22, 2026, and promptly released its first earnings report on March 26. The figures tell two wildly different tales simultaneously-like a bad magician performing the same trick twice, only worse.

Bitcoin Surprises: Outshines Gold in Iran War, And Here’s Why

In a March‑26 briefing, Nikolaos Panigirtzoglou and his crew reported that Bitcoin has held up steadier than precious metals since the theater opened. Gold is wearing a 15 % haircut this month, with gold ETFs seeing a whopping 11 billion‑dollar bleed in the first three weeks of March. Silver isn’t exempt either; its ETF inflows that simmered from last summer have been unwound, even as Bitcoin funds kept coming in.

Czar No More: Sacks Trades Crown for Tech Council Giggles

In this new role, Sacks remains tethered to the administration’s AI and digital asset endeavors, his influence stretching like a shadow across a wider landscape of technological quandaries. His 130-day term as a special government employee, a fleeting romance with power, has expired-a rule, it seems, even czars cannot outwit.