Crypto News

Summary

It appears that the modern alchemists of the digital age have discovered a way to turn their stablecoins into something resembling interest-though one suspects the real magic lies in the eyes of the beholder.

With Protocol 20 now in full effect, Pi hath acquired the capacity to support smart contracts-those self-executing covenants which automate payments, subscriptions, and digital assets with the precision of a well-tuned clock. Yet, as is prudent in matters of such magnitude, the rollout shall proceed in measured steps rather than a grand, hasty leap. The inaugural offerings shall be simple and user-friendly, with subscription-based services taking precedence, followed by escrow tools and NFT-related functions. This deliberate pace, one must commend, ensures stability while the novelties are introduced to the public.

The transactions, executed through state-owned Druk Holding & Investments, unfolded across roughly 24 hours, with bitcoin trading near $74,268 during the period. No public statement has been issued, consistent with Bhutan’s typical approach to digital asset operations-i.e., treating the entire affair like a secret society meeting.

Zack Wainwright, Fidelity’s chart-obsessed bard, posted a new Chart Chatter on X (formerly Twitter, but now just a digital tavern for the desperate). He noted that Bitcoin’s CAGR, once a proud stallion galloping ahead of gold’s stately carriage, has now slunk into a trot. “In early 2026,” he intoned, “we witness Bitcoin’s CAGR falling below gold’s for the second time in its history. Three consecutive months of this humiliation. A tragedy in three acts.”

Bitrefill Hit by Cyberattack, 18,500 Records Exposed On March 1, 2026, Bitrefill, a platform for making payments with cryptocurrency, experienced a cyberattack. The attack may be connected to the Lazarus Group, a hacking organization believed to be based in North Korea. Approximately 18,500 customer order records were accessed, including email addresses and cryptocurrency addresses. The … Read more

TL; DR

But wait! Short-term signs are waving red flags like mad. It seems our exuberant rally might be in for a little breather before it decides to leap again. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist; it’s not quite bearish yet, but it’s edging closer to a pivotal zone that will determine whether our trend gallops ahead or takes a cozy nap.

But guess what? That drama came to a halt on March 17th, when the SEC and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) dropped a joint interpretive guidance like it was a hot mixtape.

After failing to outshine Bitcoin and Ethereum, DOGE’s price took a nosedive, slipping below $0.1020 and $0.1010 with the poise of a disgraced aristocrat. The 50% Fib retracement level, once a beacon of hope, now lies in ruins, as the price dipped below $0.10 with the urgency of a man fleeing a tax audit.