Crypto News

Lee echoes Saylor’s triumph, but with a twist of existential dread. That tweet, oh, it’s a masterpiece of hubris: “Bitcoin is the way,” he declares, as if the path to salvation lies in volatile code. A week prior, he’d foreseen Bitcoin rivaling gold’s luster, yet deeming it superior—ah, the arrogance! With the Fed potentially loosening its grip, prices might surge, but remember, dear reader, every high is met with a fall. Or is it? Lee’s forecasts hang in the air like unanswered prayers. 😈

The chart, a tangled mess of lines and numbers, tells a story of resistance and ambition. The immediate hurdle sits at $0.10195, where the rally has paused to catch its breath. A clean break above this level would open the gates to $0.111, the next pitstop on the bullish highway. But charts, like men, are full of promises and pitfalls. 🛣️

This delightful tidbit comes to light amidst a chorus of concerns regarding Bitcoin’s woeful lack of post-quantum cryptography, leaving our beloved cryptocurrency as exposed as a debutante at her first ball.

By now, this jewel of jaded wisdom has become the battle cry of the Bitcoin maximalists, those stalwart souls who, like a Victorian dandy refusing to sully his gloves with plebeian discourse, wave away skeptics with a flick of their digital wrist. “Sorry, darling, but your ignorance is simply not my problem.” 😏

PUMP, like an overachiever on a caffeine rush, has shaken off its slump and leapt off a key demand zone around $0.0025. It’s now strutting proudly above $0.0026. According to CryptoBull_360’s chart (which sounds like the financial equivalent of a weather forecast), the token has escaped from its downward spiral that had it stuck in a sad little channel since mid-July.

On the fateful day of July 29, as the sun rose over the digital horizon, the spot Bitcoin ETFs, like eager children at a candy store, welcomed a delightful influx of $79.9 million. Meanwhile, Ethereum ETFs, ever the overachievers, basked in the glow of a staggering $218.6 million in investments. Ah, the sweet scent of … Read more

The bank’s confidence, as solid as a brick wall in a hurricane, is not just a figment of someone’s overactive imagination. They have, in a bold stroke of genius or madness (depending on your perspective), launched a spot trading desk for both Bitcoin and Ethereum through their UK branch. This allows institutional clients to buy and sell these digital marvels directly, a far cry from the safer but less thrilling futures market. A move so daring, it’s as if they’ve decided to dance with the devil himself in the pale moonlight.

“Behold!” they cry, “the GENIUS Act, a legislative masterpiece that redefines stablecoins as payment methods rather than mere investment baubles!” No more interest payments, and only the federally blessed banks (and a chosen few nonbanks) can mint these digital dollars. It’s as if the monetary overlords have decreed a new monetary order in a world where money talks—and sometimes even sings! 👑

According to The Information (with Reuters nodding along like a chaperone at a school dance), this potential cash grab follows a court decision earlier this year that saw the SEC’s lawsuit against Kraken go down in flames. Poof. Gone. Just like that time I tried to fold a fitted sheet. This legal victory has cleared the way for Kraken to grow faster than a sourdough starter in a warm kitchen.

In a move bolder than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, PayPal has rolled out this sprightly feature called “Pay with Crypto.” It’s like giving a raccoon a bag of marshmallows—he can’t help but dig right in! This little treasure would let merchants from Timbuktu to Kalamazoo accept digital payments without the fuss of counting pennies.