This… *thing*… this exchange-traded fund, will supposedly mirror the price fluctuations of ONDO, a token belonging to Ondo Finance. A platform, it is claimed, that busies itself with the rather audacious task of turning real-world things (assets, they call them) into digital trinkets. As if the world needed more trinkets.
Bitwise’s ETF approval was halted just hours after clearance, thrusting its multi-asset crypto fund into a Kafkaesque limbo. Grayscale’s GDLC, having endured a similar fate earlier, warned that such delays might wound investors. The BITW index fund—a market-cap-weighted basket of ten leading crypto assets led by Bitcoin and Ethereum—now sits at the mercy of regulatory indecision.
Indeed, between the 14th and 20th of July, SharpLink acquired a most substantial sum of 79,949 ETH, at an average price of $3,238 per token, thereby elevating its total holdings to a staggering 360,807 ETH. One might say this is a most strategic move, akin to a well-timed ball at a society gathering, where the goal is to secure the most advantageous position. 💰
It’s been a jolting ride for BNB, which has pranced about gleefully, racking up more than 16% in just a week, and an almost unbelievable 30% in the past month. If that doesn’t give you whiplash, I don’t know what will!
The good folks at Arkham Intelligence, with their real-time tracking tools, have astutely observed that these coins had lingered in a wallet since the quaint summer of 2022. A splash of on-chain data confirms there was neither a scatter of the UTXO set nor any dalliance with intermediaries—signifying an internal reorganization rather than a frantic liquidation. Oh, what a relief for our anxious hearts! 😅
For those who’ve been wondering how to turn their digital dragons into something that can actually buy bread, fear not! Users can now offload USDT and USDC directly through the app, a feat that would have made even the most skeptical alchemist sit up and take notice. But, as with all magical transactions, there’s a price to pay—fees range between 3% and 4%, depending on the whims of the exchange rates and the mood of the processing goblins, with minimum withdrawals typically set around $20. 🧙♂️💰
Source – X (because where else would this drama unfold?)
AliMartinez, a man who professionally stares at charts, proclaims this milestone is within reach. Apparently, a chart revealed a descending triangle. A *descending* triangle! The symbolism is… well, it’s a triangle. 🤷
The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is temporarily halting the approval of cryptocurrency exchange-traded funds (ETFs), while a Japanese textile manufacturer pours $5 million into Bitcoin investments. At the same time, Donald Trump’s DeFi platform persists in its aggressive strategy of stockpiling Ethereum.
This version aims to maintain the original information’s structure and meaning but uses simpler language and a more conversational tone. It also replaces proper nouns with common names (SEC for Securities and Exchange Commission, DeFi for Decentralized Finance platform) where appropriate to make it easier for the reader to understand.
“Similar to Bitcoin,” Atkins said, “the SEC has stated informally more than formally that ether is not a security.” Ah, yes, the sweet scent of regulatory ambiguity. Investors, ever eager to pivot on a pin, breathed a sigh of relief and promptly dove back into the Ether pool. 🏊♂️
