Crypto News

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The crypto kingdom’s total value, once a timid mouse, now roars at $3.98 trillion! Bitcoin, that bullish jester, dons a $115,102 crown, while Ethereum, with a 6.8% grin, parades at $4,199. BNB and XRP, modest yet proud, inch forward with 2.4% and 1.4% gains respectively. After October’s bloodbath, even the most jaded trader might weep for joy-or perhaps confusion. 😅

Emulating its older siblings Bitcoin and Ethereum, XRP decided to form a base above $2.320, embarking on its own tiny journey upwards. It breezed past the $2.380 and $2.450 resistance levels with the ease of a pedestrian crossing a trifling sidewalk before setting the 100-hourly Simple Moving Average abuzz with activity.

This, my loves, is a milestone in Japan’s dalliance with blockchain-based finance. Reuters reports that the Financial Services Agency has given its nod of approval, and institutional interest is on the rise. Could this be the end of Japan’s cash-heavy romance? Only time will tell. ⏳

The esteemed Mr. Lee, known in certain circles as “Permabull” (a label he likely tolerates with a weary sigh), believes a rally is imminent. Apparently, should the Americans and the Chinese manage to refrain from throwing economic stones at one another, and if, heaven forbid, prices should cease their relentless climb, then, and only then, will these volatile crypto-assets experience a period of… growth. Bitcoin and Ethereum, naturally, are to be the principal beneficiaries. And, of course, the good old American stock market should also partake in the merriment. Optimism, he assures us, is blooming like a particularly resilient weed in markets across the globe. 🙄

Fast forward to today, and he decided to give Claude AI a go, ambitiously feeding it an old, pre-hacked version of Mt. Gox’s codebase. The AI, being as clever as ever (or smarter than a fox, actually), declared it “critically insecure” with a massive shrug and a cheeky wink. 🦊😉

According to some know-it-all expert (probably sipping lattes while I drown in student debt), big-shot funds aren’t fleeing the scene. No, darling, they’ve merely pivoted – hopping on futures and other shady instruments to sneak some XRP exposure. They’ve earmarked funds for this quarter and are impatiently tapping their watches. Surveys say they’re still panting for XRP once it’s legal. Analysts predict it’ll happen before year-end, fingers crossed we don’t hit another wall. Analysts – what do they know? Last time they predicted my ex would call back. Nope. 😂

“The community likes to pitch Bitcoin as an inflation hedge,” said Greg Cipolaro, who clearly has a PhD in deflating bubbles. “But unfortunately, here, the data is just not strongly supportive of that argument.” Translation: “We’re all just winging it, but let’s act like we know what we’re doing.” 😅

SEI prances near the pivotal $0.20, a number that could dictate its market promenade. For weeks, it’s been accumulating significance between $0.18 and $0.19, teasingly close to the hallowed $0.20.

A wizard on X (formerly Twitter) waved their magic wand and declared, “Behold! SEI has vaulted over a grumpy bearish trendline!” The token’s now lounging above $0.18, a level so stubborn it’s basically a cockroach surviving a nuclear winter. 🦋 Analysts chirp, “If this cozy cuddle continues, $0.21, $0.22, or even $0.25 might get a surprise visit!”