And before you ask, no, you don’t actually have to own the asset to trade it. How convenient! CFD trading lets you bet on an asset’s price movement without actually having to buy it. It’s like gambling, but with slightly better odds… we hope. Bybit is starting with a batch of 20 CFDs available from September 23, so mark your calendars, people! ⏰
Lo and witness! The illustrious co-founder and erstwhile CEO of Binance, Master Changpeng Zhao-whom the vulgar masses know simply as CZ- hath thundered against a tale spun by the Financial Times. This tale did assert that YZi Labs might one day unveil their $10 billion treasure hoard to any fool or knave with coin to toss. CZ, upon first seeing such nonsense on the gossiping scrolls of social media, declared it to be “complete false news,” born of “fake, made-up info and negative narratives” worthy of farces and jesters alike.
In the twilight of tradition, a new dawn breaks. The blockchain, once a rebel in the shadows, now strides boldly into the heart of regulated finance. On the 23rd of September, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) unveiled its latest masterpiece-an initiative to wed tokenized collateral, including the ever-stoic stablecoins, to the tempestuous world of derivatives.
According to Ai4Alpha’s latest analysis on X (because who wouldn’t trust X for investment advice these days?), Dogwifhat has slipped beneath the $0.80 support level-a key price point it used to flaunt like a well-cut suit. Naturally, this led to a sharp decline in price, and the Relative Strength Index (RSI) is now limping along at 25.95. For those who care, that means it’s in oversold territory-basically, the digital equivalent of a limp handshake. 🫣
They plan to sell a mere 3% of their stake, as if that’s just a polite gesture at a soirée, yet even the finest plans are as fragile as a house of cards in a hurricane. Rumors swirl, deals flutter like moths-nothing is settled until everything is, or so we hope. The venerable Bloomberg whispers that Cantor Fitzgerald, that venerable beast of finance, is whispering advice into the ears of the would-be tycoons.
In a Monday X post (yes, X, because why not?), Wyoming’s very own Senator Cynthia Lummis, along with her partner in crime, New York’s Kirsten Gillibrand, declared they’re on a mission to tackle the “scam-o-rama” happening at Bitcoin ATMs. 🦸♀️💥 Lummis pointed to a report where the Cheyenne police department uncovered 50 instances of fraud-mostly targeting seniors-totaling a whopping $645,000. Grandma’s cookie jar money, gone! 🍪🚫
Bitcoin-focused Latin American company OranjeBTC is set to go public on Brazil’s B3 exchange in early October with more than $400 million in BTC reserves, making it Brazil’s largest publicly-traded bitcoin treasury firm. Because nothing says “financial stability” like a company that’s basically a digital piggy bank with a stock ticker.
Though retail traders and whale-sized magnates have endeavoured to temper the BTC price’s descent, the bears, with their cunning, may yet orchestrate a grand purge to $106K. One might say it is a most *exhilarating* game of cat-and-mouse! 🐾
According to Bloomberg (which I guess we should trust?), this move is their big entrance into the retail brokerage game. Think Robinhood, but, you know, with fewer meme coins and a touch more class. E*Trade clients will now be able to trade Bitcoin (BTC), Ether (ETH), and Solana (SOL), so get ready to dust off your wallets-or not, depending on how “crypto-savvy” you are. 🙃
The Las Vegas-based miner, Cleanspark (Nasdaq: CLSK), said the non-dilutive financing will be deployed across strategic capital expenditures, including enlarging its energy portfolio, scaling bitcoin mining operations, and investing in high-performance computing (HPC) capabilities. 🧠🚀
