The Anti-Money Laundering Regulation (AMLR) is basically Europe’s way of saying “privacy tokens, you’re outta here!” Monero and Zcash, beware-2027’s looking like a bad year for anonymity.
In the meme coin corner, Dogecoin took a nap, dipping 0.8%, while TRUMP (yes, that’s a thing) inched up 0.2%. Altcoins, as usual, are having an identity crisis-some are rising, others are sulking. Traders, bless their hearts, are sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for the Fed to pull a rabbit out of its hat. 🐰
But wait, there’s more! A $1.39 billion sell-off and liquidations faster than a Black Friday sale. 🛒💨 Holders were sprinting for the exits like they heard the fire alarm (or maybe it was the regulatory scrutiny alarm?). Either way, it was a stampede. And the trading volume? Plummeted 23.9% to $1.03 billion. Talk about a hot mess. 🔥🤡
It’s all a grand theater, comrades, a dizzying waltz of numbers. They ‘explore the top updates today,’ do they? Likely grasping at straws, searching for meaning in the chaos. Update number one: People are still hoping to get rich quick. Update number two: They’re probably failing. Update Number three: More coffee is being consumed in trading rooms, fuelled by desperation!☕
Though BTC has since retreated to $116,600, a mere 400 dollars short of its celestial peak, it’s still managing to outshine the Fed’s latest monetary ballet. 🕺
“Sure, opening the door to crypto ETPs as early as October will likely result in a bunch of new products hitting the market,” said Matt Hougan, chief investment officer at Bitwise, in a report on Monday. “It’s pretty obvious, and history shows us that this could lead to a surge, but it doesn’t guarantee they’ll actually succeed.” 😬
On Tuesday, Chancellor Reeves and Secretary Bessent – names that will doubtless echo in the corridors of power for years to come – held discussions. One imagines stern faces, furrowed brows, and possibly a shared plate of canapés. The object of this solemn exchange? Strengthening “coordination” on crypto. As if crypto needed *more* coordination. It’s chaotic enough as it is. 🤪
Anticipation for the nonce of 21st-century finance-our very own fashionable spot XRP exchange-traded fund-has reached a crescendo following REX Shares’s chatty disclosure via the ushers of social media on the 15th of September:
According to their trusty reports (and probably some enthusiastic interns who just discovered NFTs), Amex has rolled out a service called Amex Passport. This gem of a feature issues what are essentially NFT-style stamps-ERC-721 tokens, no less-on the Ethereum layer-two network, called Base. Because, of course, what’s a passport without the essence of cryptocurrency, right?
Apparently, the darlings at Tuttle aren’t content with just one or two ETFs; they’ve also filed for a Litecoin (LTC) income blast and a Sui (SUI) income blast. Honestly, it’s like they’re hosting a crypto cocktail party and everyone’s invited! 🍸 This makes them the second U.S. fund manager to file for a spot Bonk ETF, following in the footsteps of Rex Shares and Osprey Funds. How très chic! 👠
