Crypto News

Meanwhile, altcoins are throwing a raucous party. BNB, which has been doing the cha-cha on the charts up to $800, is the life of the crypto soiree. Ethereum’s creeping toward $3,700 like a shy librarian at a rave, XRP’s holding the $3.45 line with the tenacity of a goldfish guarding a bread crumb, and Solana’s inching back toward $200. But the real stars? FLR and PENGU, two tokens that’ve jumped 20% in a day—because who needs sleep when you can be a 20% overnight sensation?

In a twist that could have been ripped from the pages of a financial thriller, ONDO leapt 8% after 21Shares decided to file for a spot ONDO ETF with the oh-so-esteemed SEC, igniting a stampede of trading and a fiery 13% intraday swing. If only life could be so simple—just file an ETF and watch the coins roll in! 💰

This… *thing*… this exchange-traded fund, will supposedly mirror the price fluctuations of ONDO, a token belonging to Ondo Finance. A platform, it is claimed, that busies itself with the rather audacious task of turning real-world things (assets, they call them) into digital trinkets. As if the world needed more trinkets.

Bitwise’s ETF approval was halted just hours after clearance, thrusting its multi-asset crypto fund into a Kafkaesque limbo. Grayscale’s GDLC, having endured a similar fate earlier, warned that such delays might wound investors. The BITW index fund—a market-cap-weighted basket of ten leading crypto assets led by Bitcoin and Ethereum—now sits at the mercy of regulatory indecision.

Indeed, between the 14th and 20th of July, SharpLink acquired a most substantial sum of 79,949 ETH, at an average price of $3,238 per token, thereby elevating its total holdings to a staggering 360,807 ETH. One might say this is a most strategic move, akin to a well-timed ball at a society gathering, where the goal is to secure the most advantageous position. 💰

It’s been a jolting ride for BNB, which has pranced about gleefully, racking up more than 16% in just a week, and an almost unbelievable 30% in the past month. If that doesn’t give you whiplash, I don’t know what will!

The good folks at Arkham Intelligence, with their real-time tracking tools, have astutely observed that these coins had lingered in a wallet since the quaint summer of 2022. A splash of on-chain data confirms there was neither a scatter of the UTXO set nor any dalliance with intermediaries—signifying an internal reorganization rather than a frantic liquidation. Oh, what a relief for our anxious hearts! 😅

For those who’ve been wondering how to turn their digital dragons into something that can actually buy bread, fear not! Users can now offload USDT and USDC directly through the app, a feat that would have made even the most skeptical alchemist sit up and take notice. But, as with all magical transactions, there’s a price to pay—fees range between 3% and 4%, depending on the whims of the exchange rates and the mood of the processing goblins, with minimum withdrawals typically set around $20. 🧙‍♂️💰

Source – X (because where else would this drama unfold?)

AliMartinez, a man who professionally stares at charts, proclaims this milestone is within reach. Apparently, a chart revealed a descending triangle. A *descending* triangle! The symbolism is… well, it’s a triangle. 🤷